different biscuit, same tin

2006-12-11T18:22:00.000Z

Allow me to bite you

2006-10-19T14:30:00.000+01:00

I made someone cry today.

Well.. The bottom lip was going and the eyes were suspiciously bright, and there was a definite reddening of the cheeks..

That was when I left, I was in a bad enough mood, that would just have irritated me even more.

I went outside yesterday and as I opened the gate, a note fluttered to the floor and started to take off with a gust of wind, I caught it before it disappeared thankfully.
Can you guess what it was?

No?

Let me tell you.

Parcel force had apparently attempted to deliver a parcel but failed as a signature was needed. You see, the guy failed to get a signature because an unlocked gate was obviously too much for his mind to cope with. If the note had been posted through my letterbox I'd be more inclined to give Mr delivery man the benefit of the doubt (or miss delivery lass - lets face it, lazy stupid people come in both sexes don't they?) The thing is, it wasn't so the only conclusion I can make is that they guessed we were in and didn't want to impose upon us by knocking on the door or ringing the bell.

You can almost picture the indecision on the guys (or girls) face, they get to the gate, look through it and see the door.. "Do I open it, don't I.. ooohhh.. What if they're watching a film, or no.. Wait - is that a radio? I can't ring the bell now! They'll miss something! I'll just stick this note here and let them get on with their day"

AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway..
I went down to the post office to collect my parcel, the lass behind the counter took the note, went out back and then passed me my parcel.
As she turned away I said "excuse me, I'd like to make a complaint" she turned back to me, a picture of confusion and panic, and said "erm.."

I was not in a good mood (wrong time of the month to mess with me people, normally I'd avoid confrontation, but today I had a target to vent my wrath upon) Now, I wasn't duly unpleasant, I said everything quite calmly - but according to Stef I have 'a voice' this 'voice' is apparently incredibly unpleasant to be at the mercy of, I was unaware of this, I was just pissed at almost losing a parcel I've been waiting for.

So, I explained about where and how the note was left, she looked a tad relieved and said "you need to complain to parcel force about that" I replied, "Oh don't worry, I plan to." "however YOU did not ask me for ID. I could be anyone and you have just handed this parcel over without a second glance"
She said "you need to speak to parcel force" I'm almost gritting my teeth at this and so I replied "you're missing my point, parcel force failed to post that note through my letter box, therefore anyone could have found it and asked for the parcel that YOU have just handed to me, YOU are supposed to ask for some form of ID, YOU did not do this, this is why I'm complaining to you"

Which is when the eyes started gleaming in a suspicious manner, she's glancing helplessly over to her colleagues who are busy dealing with other customers, I just said, "Never mind, I'll make a complaint in writing" and left.

I've since written to parcel force with quite blistering scorn over the incompetence displayed by their employee, to the people I purchased the parcel in question from (suggesting they change their courier service) and to the post office regarding the lack of security protocol displayed in the swinton branch.

I'm betting she always asks for ID in the future.
I guess I'll find out when the second half of my order arrives.. Assuming it does..

2006-10-13T14:06:00.000+01:00

I went to a talk today that was supposed to be given by Dr. John Gow about his research into the biomedical markers for CFS (which to you and me means finding a way of testing reliably for the illness by looking at the way our genes react and then showing that reaction in a blood test)

Sadly, it being Friday the 13th and all, things were not going according to plan.
First of all I got a phonecall from the lovely Mandy saying she would be slightly late picking me up, they were currently 50yards down the street from their house changing a tyre.
Nay bovver. She arrived, chauffeured by the equally lovely Dave and we set off.

Upon arriving at the meeting room we sat looking around for recognisable faces (I probably speak to at least 4 other people from there online but I'd never know who they were in person) Louise arrived having rushed to make it, sat beside me and then Lynda came in, again having rushed..

The place was pretty packed, there was much muttering because although the usual accoutrements for a speaker were there; the projector, microphone etc, no sign was to be had of the man himself.
It turned out he'd been stuck at Glasgow airport since 6am trying to get a flight to Manchester but because of the fog it was a no go. This being the case, we watched a dvd of one of his previous lectures. Louise left at hearing this news, she's got the dvd in question and it was a bit of a wasted trip for her, shame because she lives miles away from stockport.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway..
I'll admit, I understood very little of what was said, not least because of the sound quality or his quite broad scottish accent, but I'll be the first to admit that talk of apoptosis, oxidative stress and up regulated thrombospondin j means little to me, but incomprehension aside, it was still quite interesting.
I have a number of things to google in order to at least try and understand, thoughwhy I feel the need to do this I don't quite know.
Science has never really interested me unless it's in the form of fiction, yet with regards the research towards a cure for what ails me.. I try and keep up to date - even when I know I'll never remember enough to talk intelligently about it to anyone who cares.

One thing that did come under discussion was the fact that all of this funding into research on cfs/ me comes from charities and private sponsors, there is little to no government funding - this despite it being a (barely) recognised illness that in the UK alone is costing at least £6 billion in 'treatments' and benefits.
It was pointed out that Dr Kerr in london is conducting similar research and needs around £1 million to continue, Dr. Gow was asking for less than that but at present has been forced to abandon his research and has lost his assistant because there just aren't the funds to continue - it's frustrating when the government are funding research into a cure for male baldness to the tune of at least £2 million.

How does baldness wreck a persons life to the extent they are unable to function?
How does that justify a £2 million grant from taxpayers money and yet an illness - yes an actual life destroying, and in some extreme cases, life threatening illness, merits NOTHING?

Ok, according to the linked news report it's estimated that this could generate at least £1 billion a year in britain, but surely a cure for an illness that's costing £6 billion is more cost effective? baldness currently costs the government nothing, the individuals it affects yes, the government no, yet CFS/ ME..
Well, it's been said - you do the maths.
Makes you wonder whats happening to our health service doesn't it?

*and breathe*

Anyhow, I guess I should stop bitching about the NHS and our delightful government and get back to cleaning the kitchen and making christmas presents. I would post pictures of some of the pieces I'm busy creating because I'm actually reet proud of 'em, as they're gifts though I shall refrain because it would be just my luck that the recipients would then stumble across this blog and see 'em before they receive them nicely gift wrapped.

Happy Friday the 13th people, watch out for those black cats *grin*

2006-10-12T19:31:00.000+01:00

And people wonder why british teeth are in such bad shape..

The NHS has never been in worse shape from what I can see, yet before I became ill I doubt I'd even have noticed any of these kind of news reports never mind commented upon them.
Now according to this report from reuters "the health service is on track to break even by the end of the current financial year."

The only problem is, they plan on doing so by making drugs like this unavailable to the people who would most benefit from them. People like my gran who are worried about failing faculties and the inevitable problems arising from old age.
NICE have been badly named in my opinion, from a selfish point of view with regards my own illness, they just do not seem to take into consideration every angle when making their decisions.

For example, with regards CFS they have not taken into account biological research, instead concentrating mainly upon the psychological approach which has led to a blanket recommendation of CBT and GET as the only treatments available on the NHS.
This despite much protest and research on the parts of the main charities involved in gaining recognition and fair treatment for patients.
Ugh..

Anyhow, I'm going to do what every brit seems to do when disgusted or upset with the state of things; I'm going to the pub.

I may even sort out some Qigong lessons while I'm there, it's not what you know *grin*

2006-08-30T14:54:00.000+01:00

I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that people are stupid. I was aware that there are people in the world who will pay £700 for a handbag, yesthat'ss more than a little daft when you think that £700 could keep a small family fed and housed for a month , but now I've learned about this.

People will PAY to hire a handbag, why? Because they have to look good.

Um.. Excuse me?

Where the hell have peoples priorities gone? Surely there are better things to spend your money on than borrowing a designer handbag - especially when you can BUY a knockoff for a quarter of the price. At the end of the day it's just something to hold your keys, phone and purse if you haven't got big enough pockets to do the job.

What's with all this 'style over function' thinking that's taken over the world? I've never understood it, I take comfort over style any day of the week as far as my clothes are concerned, why do people buy things whose look is more important than it's function?
Since when did look become so important that people would hire an expensive bag instead of buying a cheap and sevicable alternative?

Sadly I'm in a minority as far as these opinions go. I would rather save up for a house than fritter money away on 'looking good' especially since the usual popular view of what looks good differs greatly from my own view.

I was so born in the wrong era..

2006-08-26T15:28:00.000+01:00

Some of these viral ad campaigns are fantastic - but when I sent this to my mate chris he rang me up with the best line ever:

"I wish I had more mates, I've run out of people to send it to"

*grin*

Check it out yourself and get emailing, some of the responses are hilarious - especially when tailored to a specific friend..

2006-08-25T22:44:00.000+01:00

LMAO - I love my stats.. No - really.

I came 3rd in a search for 'cucumber arse torrent '
Perhaps this should worry me; not just that I appear so high in the listings, but that someone searched for that very thing - but I'm too busy chuckling to care.

The reason I'm chuckling? I also came 4th in a search for 'fondling girls bottoms'
It would seem from my stats that I have an arse fetish.
A girls arse fetish since I also showed up for the person who wanted a 'horny chick forum' *grin* you gotta love statcounters.

None of this by the way should be taken as a suggestion for the person looking for 'things to do when bored in Manchester' bottoms should be left well alone - especially mine!

It does lead onto the next thing though - in a round about sort of way..

It's the yearly gay pride festival in Manchester this weekend, it's mental (as always) the taxi driver who just brought me home was advising me to steer clear of town - like I needed telling! If crowded streets full of drunken half dressed people is your thing then you'll love it, just bear in mind you need to spend £16 on a wristband for the privilege of walking those streets and entering the bars that every other weekend of the year are free.

It's mad.

2006-08-24T21:47:00.000+01:00

I really really love my man.
I mean, totally - in a sickeningly gushy, want his babies type way.

He's an evil little fecker with a sadistic sense of humour, irritating as sin in an 'always right' kind of way and so handy it hurts.

..And he's all mine.

*grin*

Just occasionally it hits me how lucky I am and all the bad stuff goes away for a bit and everything else pales into insignificance besides that realisation.
He has a way of making me smile at the most depressing point of my day and making me laugh at the things you would normally cry over.
...And he gives the best hugs and kisses a girl could ever ask for.

Seriously, he is the everything and more I always never knew I wanted.
I was actually thinking earlier (well, yesterday) that to have someone like him love me the way he does must mean there is a god out there who actually gives a shit about my wellbeing.
Weird that.

Honestly - I'm a moody, irritable, fairly useless (at the moment) individual, he's never known me in a state of good health, we met a few months into my delightful CFS journey - yet he's not only sticking around, he's happy to be here.
He just amazes me and makes me want to be the person he sees when he looks at me.

If there were more people like him about, the world would be a better and brighter place because people would strive to be better just to be around him and those like him.
No, he's not perfect, but that's the best part about it, I don't worship him, I don't have him up on an impossibly high pedestal.
I simply adore and love and need him with every fibre of my being.

..Now you can all run along and chunder into the receptacle of your choice. I'll let you *grin*

2006-08-23T13:24:00.000+01:00

I've not had a look at my statcounter for a while - so many things going on in my life and all (which reminds me, the latest collab with Paul is now up, I'll post if here for those of you who're interested in such things)

anyhow, I logged in and found they've brought a new feature to the table. They've got together with google maps and basically have markers on a map for all your recent visitors, click on the marker and all the information comes up - very pretty, and quite fun.
Me likes.

On a side observation, someone REALLY wants to find the shameless auditions in Manchester - I didn't even know they were going on, haven't spoken to Keith for ages. Sorry peeps, wrong blog for that info. The person who desperately wishes to know about discotech royale - try searching for M-two, it had a facelift and several name changes quite some time ago but that's the most recent one - it's now mainly soul and R'n'B wigga stuff, with the attitude to match (another reason not to go out, it's all attitude in the clubs these days, what ever happened to going out for a dance and a laugh? *sigh* I'm getting old..)

I shall be hard at work recording some more vocals this weekend, got to make use of the place while himself is committing suicide by cycle up at the lakes (if only I had the energy to join 'em) I was trying to get Claireybabes to come up but it's too short notice for her sadly.
*sniff* I also forgot it's the leeds festival this weekend so every man and his dog not already off camping somewhere will be going to that.
Figures.

I also need to crack on with those bloody websites but I'm struggling with a distinct lack of enthusiasm for the cfs one (I'm sick of thinking about this illness!) and there's not a lot I can do for the other one at present because I need content. *sigh* it'll get there, i guess that means I'll be watching a lot of tv *grin*
It's a hard life..

2006-08-20T12:59:00.000+01:00

I was sent this by a mate and felt that every brit who stops by could identify with it - sadly..

a parable for modern times (or the real reason the BNP have such a large following)
A PARABLE FOR MODERN TIMES.

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the blisterering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the squirrel's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is secure, warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the blisterering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the squirrel's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is secure, warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and shivering.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel enjoying his warm and comfortable home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so greatly while others such as the squirrel have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB set up a hostile demonstration in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC, interrupting an ethnically cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
In an interview with Trevor McDonald, Ken Livingstone rants on about how the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and doubles the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts a new Parliamentary Act, the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
As soon as the new Act is passed the squirrel's taxes are immediately reassessed.
He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine is levied for contempt when he tries to explain to the court that the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy members of society, in particular the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.
The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing, but they were released immediately because, while they were in custody, the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon.
Initial moves to return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they might face death by the mice.
Left free and unsupervised, the cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from stolen credit card PINs.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in is crumbling around him because he hasn't bothered to do any maintenance.
He is shown to be taking Class A drugs.
A Royal Commission is set up and reports that inadequate government funding is to blame for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their "unfair and inhospitable" treatment since their arrival in the UK .

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned, but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A Commission of Enquiry, that will eventually cost at least �10,000,000 and just state the obvious, is set up.
Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and the legal fees for lawyers representing asylum seekers are increased.
The asylum-seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.
The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from the social inequity of his treatment by the hard-working squirrel and his traumatic experience of being held in prison.
They call for the resignation of one or more government ministers.

The cats are paid one million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them that there were mice in the United Kingdom .

The squirrel, the dogs and all the victims of the various hijackings, bombings, burglaries and robberies are told that they will have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses.
Their taxes are to be increased to pay for the increased effectiveness of the government's policies on law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because ther is a shortfall in government funds.
This shortfall includes the costs of building and maintaining a state memorial
to all grasshoppers who have died of cold and starvation.

THE END.

How true, how sad.. I so wish I was the author of this - anyone know where it originated?

2006-08-13T22:15:00.000+01:00

We were driving along in the car the other day, listening to radio 2, as you do..
Who should be talking but that national treasure of ours Paul Daniels himself.
He's a clever bod is our Paul. Not only is he renowned for his magic show, but he's done a fair old few of the celeb reality shows about - and the guy also allows his hidden geek free rein with this website.
That's right, apparantly he's been all webbed up since before most people knew what the internet was! He's a gadget freak of the highest order and does all his own coding.

I'm so impressed! *grin*
I loved Paul Daniels as a kid, and he seems to be making a comeback, seriously - the guy is everywhere. I may have to go to one of his shows for old times sake at some point..

2006-08-07T02:17:00.000+01:00

I've spent the last few days being completely knackered, tonight - I can't sleep.. wide awake, buzzing and more mentally alert than I 've been in months.
Obviously a good time to have a look through all my old text and word documents to clean out old unwanted files - which led to me deciding to update my cv - which led to me checking my blog for a certain date (see, blogs are useful) sadly this led to me getting sidetracked by some of my old posts.. It happens occasionally.

Anyhow, I cam across a meme I did at the request of Master K:

Ten Things I've Never Done, But Intend to Do Before I Die:

Get divorced
Design a funky looking website that actually serves a purpose.
Have a child
Learn a foreign language well enough to converse easily in - probably Spanish, but considering Italian, Portuguese or Esperanto (What can I say, Harry Harrison sold me on that last one)
Learn to dance properly - salsa, tango, waltz and one other
Complete an ambitious hobby project - without help!
Ride a jetski/ windsail - watersports generally (of the non fetish variety!)
Get a tailor made outfit
Buy the perfect home - and home is the operative word there.
Get up at 7am on a regular basis and like it .

I'm quite chuffed, In the space of a year I've managed to complete 2 and a half of those listed there (#1, #6 and I'm halfway there with #2 I just need to get it looking funky, the purpose part is covered)
The thing is, in just a year I've changed my mind on a couple of things. I remember writing this and at the time I really wanted to do all those things, now though my list would be more like this:

Buy a house and create the perfect home
Have a child - or 2.
Write and record a song I can be proud of
Learn Italian
Get a tailor made outfit
Ride a jetski
Own a car
Visit Italy, Germany and Ireland
Buy a beautiful (and expensive) work of art
Learn as much about web design as I can

I need to win the lottery blatently.

2006-08-06T17:21:00.000+01:00

I hate that feeling when you've upset someone where it wasn't intended, I get really worked up by things like that and end up shutting off from the person and situation completely to stop myself thinking about it.

It's happened several times so I guess that makes me quite a thoughtless person - not something I'd have described from my self image. Sadly we rarely see ourselves as others do, I would not have guessed I can come across as arrogant either, but my best friend assures me that sometimes I do.
Everyone should have a best friend who can tell you harsh truths about yourself, it keeps you grounded.

So I'm incredibly chuffed to say I'll be heading down south to see said bestest buddy on Tuesday, hopefully I'll then get some recording done as well - she has a much better set up than me - and she's lacking a brand new downstairs neighbour banging and playing loud music as they prepare the flat for moving..

I was chuffed to hear him playing his music the other day though *grin* it seems he and I will not be complaining about each others tastes. Seems like a nice lad as it happens, I bumped into him when I was heading back from the shops and he showed me round the place, layout is fairly similar to ours as you'd expect, but I think his bathroom is bigger than ours, and he's got the pretty greeny blue kitchen that I allowed the workmen to talk me out of having.
The place is as much of a shell as ours was though, he's got a hell of a decorating job ahead of him, I really don't envy him that lol

Stef's not a happy bunny at the mo, he purchased city of villains a bit ago to compliment his already ridiculous city of heroes addiction, sadly he can't log onto it because his password as supplied in the box is not being recognised, it's been 5 days and counting since he sent an email requesting help and he's yet to get anything other than an automated response - he even tried calling the uk office for assistance - and was told he'd have to email instead.. Gotta love these games eh?!

2006-08-01T21:15:00.000+01:00

LMAO - Master K?
Your Hoff vid has nothing on this one!

David Hasselhoff - King of the internet!

we were watching tv when this came on - food lies forgotten in the bowl beside me - that's how badly I needed to share this with you guys *grin* it's freakin' hilarious!

2006-07-30T18:37:00.000+01:00

Typical really isn't it?
I finally get all my equipment working, levels are set, the street is as quiet as it ever gets.. and my voice is not co-operating *sniff* my throat is sore and I'm sounding quite thin and crackly. I'm healing up nicely from the arse thing - I'll be really unhappy if this means I'm now getting a throat infection to prolong my suffering *sniff* is someone up there trying to tell me something?

I had a 2 hour kip because I was knackered, hoped that was just the cause, I've had my honey and lemon concoction, many a glass of water.. It still hurts and I sound like a bag of nails.
Since I'd had today set aside for recording this has ticked me off more than a little. Someone somewhere really does not want me to do any recording - the last time I had my system all set up and working with a specific plan in mind I ended up in hospital..

I've had a pleasent hour browsing properties for sale and let in horwich though, it's a very pretty part of Bolton - lets face it, practically anywhere's better than staying here for much longer. Yes, we have the place looking quite nice, but it's so small - 2 people spending practically 24/7 in a 1 bed flat does not make for a lovely relaxed atmosphere, thats aside from the problems with the area, added to which, it would be nice to have somewhere to store and ride a bike, round here isn't great for that even if we could somehow fit 'em in the flat (along with all the other stuff that's still stuck in storage)

Meh, on the plus side, the jam in wales is building in momentum, if you'sa muso you should come along, just email me and I'll tell you when and where - alternatively join up with musofinder and check the relevant forum
(i'd suggest joining mf at any rate, good bunch of folks on there, always happy to help when you have a query)

2006-07-29T12:59:00.000+01:00

I'm really looking forward to September.
Not only will I be going to Italy for a week with my beloved to stay with some of his family, but when we get back we're going camping in Wales for the weekend with a load of muso's.
The plan is we get there Saturday afternoon, have a jam in the hall that one of the guys has booked, afterwards we all head to the pub and then camp out in the field next to the hall. I'm just so glad Claire talked me into joining this site I've practically moved into the forums and have made some great contacts (can't really call 'em friends yet having not met any of 'em) Ricky is helping me out with Reason 3 so I can start trying to make my own backing tracks up, as is my mate Phil (lad I went to school with, we hooked up again on myspace a few months ago) Dave (my old drummer) was up this week, he's sorted out all my recording levels..

You know, give it a month or so and I may actually have something worth pasting up here for your dubious listening pleasure *grin* basically, sleepy fits and hospital visits aside, I'm loving my life right now - music and a fantastic man.. What more could a girl want out of life?

2006-07-26T01:43:00.000+01:00

I've been listening to this guys podcasts.. they're pretty good tbh

If you're looking for something jazzy/ funky and well.. Smooth. Check out the smooth groove review it's remarkably chilled evening listening, great for surfing.

2006-07-24T15:17:00.000+01:00

Monday blues? Nah, not me.
Got funkadelic screaming out at me from the pc speakers, the sun is streaming in through the window to illuminate my sparklingly clean front room and there's a plate full of chopped peppers, cucumber and some cherry tomatoes to accompany my black olive breadsticks and sour cream and onion dip..

Life really doesn't get any better than this *grin*

2006-07-22T12:26:00.000+01:00

Just had to share this link *grin* Manboobs.. We tend to call 'em 'moobs' over here, but nevertheless.. a fine sight..
LMAO

Right i'm now off to grab some shopping before I head into town for the jazz festival (ok so it's been going since 12 but I'm only heading in to meet people, and Id've avoided the first band like the plague anyhow - Dave hassel was my drum teacher at uni.. The guy's a complete git! Talented, yes, but a git nonetheless) The 5pm shows in St. Annes square every day look pretty cool, may have to bob in this week to check 'em out

Oh and someone please tell me this is a joke?

2006-07-22T02:00:00.000+01:00

I am going to bed in a minute.. I am, really.

I just got a little sidetracked reading through some of my old posts (prompted by a search that showed up on my stats) I used to be totally addicted to blog - reading and writing.
I can actually remember how I'd be mentally writing posts about anything and everything I saw in the day (that is in the days I used to go places to see things lol) I'd never go so far as to claim my writing enriched the 'blogosphere' in anyway, but it was a damned sight better back then than it is now.
All I seem to talk about is being ill these days - how crappy is that?

*mental note: think happy, write happy*

*sniggers* Yup, PMA people, that's the route to take in life..

Mind you - I did get told off by my immunologist today - I slunk out of there with my imaginary tail clamped firmly between my legs, he has very rightly pointed out that I'm not pacing properly again so it's no wonder I've hit a plateau and haven't seen any improvement for a while.. Oh yeah, and the sleep pattern thing *glances at clock*
Whoops..

See now I was going to describe the dreams I had last night for you - fairly erotic, disturbing though - I dreamt I was a teenager, dating that Alex Rider (from the Anthony Horowitz novels (I've not read stormbreaker but there is a film of it coming out - I've got the follow up book, Point Blanc - pretty good so hopefully it'll be a film worth watching)

Anyhow, there we were - getting it on in teenage horny fashion, his sister (in the book he has no sister, but that's dreams for ya) kept walking in on us so we left the mansion and took off on a snow mobile to an old warehouse/ factory building down the hill next to the raging torrent of a river.
There was an arms deal going on inside (obviously, it's an abandoned mill type place beside a river.. Had to be crawling with bad guy types packing mucho hardware of the killing kind)
He thought I knew nothing about his secret agent status, what he didn't know was that I also was an agent - for the other side.. Something I'd forgotten myself until the action kicked in - what can I say? He was a great kisser lol

Basically it was an absolute quality dream - I even got to lock lips wth Ewan McGregor (man am I a slut or what in dreamtime?) I would go into more detail but it was a fairly complex dream, several action sequences and I'd be here all frikken night describing it.
Instead, I'm going to go brush my teeth and snuggle up to my pillows and hopefully catch some Zzz's before her nurseyness arrives in the morning to wreak havoc on my arse.
G'night folks, luffyall MWAH!

2006-07-19T11:09:00.000+01:00

I had virtually finished this post, it was witty.. Informative.. Fairly disgusting, but yes - it was just about done.. Then firefox wigged out on me - again!

I'm getting a bit sick of it 'encountering a problem' and having to shut down, I'm online for maybe 15 minutes tops before it happens, means I'm using Netscape more and more, it's not a bad browser as it happens, I'd still prefer to use firefox, but I'll take anything over internet explorer.

I'm now able to sit (if I keep movement minimal and use a very soft cushion) no longer do I have to kneel at the PC to check my mail (that is how sad I am, not even surgery can keep me from my PC) I'm down to just paracetamol instead of that and codeine, I can walk again and after Monday hopefully it will all be over..

Yup, on Monday I get to find out whether this was a one off bit of torture or if there was some underlying evil that will cause me to undergo this nasty evil experience again, you see - I've obviously been a bad gal, never have I known pain like it - even my stepmum, notoriously the most unsympathetic person on the planet regarding illness called me up to sympathize.. I nearly died of shock - seriously, I've had CFS for nearly 3 years now and never once have they rang up to ask if I need anything, even when I was completely buggered - they find out about this and instantly offer anything I need.. Families eh?!

Anyhow, if nothing else it means I've been able to fuel comments of a salacious nature from the bloke - he's had me in stitches!
Just think - I've been lying on my bed with a nurse in the room.. How much of a male fantasy is that *grin* would probably be better if said nurse wasn't poking this stuff into the hole in my arse with a small metal skewer like object of course(and I'm talking about the man made hole, not the other one)
Seriously, the technology we have amazes me, that ribbon transforms into a thick gel which collects all the blood, pus and assorted nastiness that accumulates in a wound (hence the need for a daily change) and just falls out leaving said wound clean.. It's fantastic.
I'm glad of it anyhow, it's tender enough round there without having something ripped out and cleaned every day.. *shudders*

Anyhow, enough of the ick stuff (though that's less detail than my previous post - perhaps you should all be thanking firefox right now eh?!) I'm more than a little gutted that I'll be missing out on a party this weekend, hospital appointments come before fun however so I'll just have to sit and mope in the flat instead. Gives me more beading time I guess.. And I do need to work on Claires website, photoshop will be getting a dusting off as I play around with the pictures she's sent me. I'm also behind on the CFS site, quite a bit of info still needs writing up for there..

Yup, I'll be a busy bee - I just hope it cools down a tad, I'm dying here.

2006-07-13T17:53:00.000+01:00

not been around for a while, not likely to be.
why?
a wonderful thing called a perianal abcess developed, i came out of hospital yesterday and i'm now waiting for the surgery to heal, could be a couple of weeks..
i'll be back, just may be a while.

2006-07-05T00:47:00.000+01:00

It's too damned hot!
Yes, I'm melting - didn't bother getting clothed today - yup, you read that right, I've been sat here NAKED reading your blogs and answering your emails HA! and there's not a sorry lil thing you can do about it.

Do you feel violated? do ya?!

*ahem*

I'm taking a break from the cfs website, it's getting me down. I love the coding and I'm really proud of it, but the more research I do into the condition the harder it is to hide from it - if that makes any sense? I tend to get by by blaming a lot of my symptoms on other things - pms, the pill - food I've eaten.. It's all the same thing though. I'm taking a time out to build a site for Claires new band - making much use of photoshop too, yes I will be linking when it's done, it's already looking good after just a day - now all I need is the content.

You see, today became constructive when it was apparant our planned day trip wasn't going to happen - I'm betting the same happens tomorrow, he's waiting on a call from some garage about a new exhaust for his car, they neglected to ring despite us sitting and broiling in the flat all day so it's the same again tomorrow.

*sigh* On the plus side, at least we'll be spending tomorrow evening in an air conditioned cinema.

2006-06-30T19:56:00.000+01:00

I have good news.

After my driving lesson today my instructor told me that not only was it the best lesson yet, but if I can drive like that on the next 2 lessons he'll be booking my test *grin* there is an end in sight!

That really was a relief to hear, I'm hoping this means by August I'll have a license..
Then I just need to worry about affording a car + running costs. *chuckle* and I think I'm skint now..?

In other news, my website has received some reciprocal linkage from an official organisation or 2, this means I must be doing something right, for the most part all feedback has been positive with any criticism being constructive and based upon the look not the content of the site.
I'm a happy bunny.

Now if I could just get my health up to scratch and find a job life would be pretty close to perfect *grin*

2006-06-24T03:02:00.000+01:00

OK!
My site is up and running, it's quite raw as you will plainly see - but for those of you who really wish to know more about lil ol' me then toddle over to:

Rosevibe - The official site

I've enjoyed playing around but decided that even though nothing is actually finished, if I didn't put it up then it'd be a work in progress forever. All feedback is gratefully received, if any of you have found me here via a google on CFS or M.E. then check out the link to the serious project that's the information and resource site I've been working on, you'll hopefully find what you need on there, if not - email me and I'll do my damndest to remedy the lack.

2006-06-23T13:52:00.000+01:00

I've been a bad girl..
Well, neglectful at any rate. Debambam tagged me a while back, so far back in fact she's changed host and site since doing so..
But here we go, The rules are:

1. You have to come up with 10 words starting with a letter that either you choose yourself or that someone chooses for you.

2. These words must be meaningful to you and you must give an explanation of why each of these words are important to you.

I'll admit it's not one of the first letters that sprang to my mind, but since I've been so long in the doing, Kellys choice is what I'll go with, what the heck..

Difficult
Just like this task. But no, that's how I think of life at the moment - though perhaps 'tricky' is a better word (but it doesn't start with 'D' now does it) I'm at the stage in my recovery where I feel like I can do more, but I know I can't because I have to rein myself in to build on the energy I have instead of squandering it all in one go, it also describes how it is explaining about my illness, this article sums up how I feel in that situation perfectly- it's tough trying to explain why I look so healthy yet I'm not working or doing anything 'useful'.

Disability
The bane of my existence. I don't look as though there is anything wrong with me, yet there are many days when all I do is lie around and complain about my aches or lack of mental ability. I'm just waiting for the hammer to fall and the powers that be to tell me I need to be in full time work.
I want to be - I'm sick of being poor. But at the same time I know how just doing a part time course has made me feel, I'm terrified of bringing on a relapse and having to go through the whole claiming process again - it doesn't just put me through a great deal of stress, it would totally throw out my employer as well.

Domesticated
A term I wish could be applied to me. Even before I fell prey to the dreaded CFS I was nowhere near this status, ok I could clean up when the mood struck - but that's the point, I only did it when the mood struck. I thought I was an ok cook - till I met Stef.
Nowadays what little skill or ability I had with regards housekeeping has gone. I am in awe of my mil, she can literally do anything even if I had the energy and the inclination to learn I'd have a way to go to keep up with that woman - she's a powerhouse!

Debt
Sadly the story of my life, I only have an overdraft but I never seem to get out of it, I cannot recall the last time I had money of my own instead of pretend money - anyone got a spare £1500 to remind me..? Doesn't sound like a lot does it. *sigh* Anyone notice how few happy or positive words there are beginning with 'D'?

Drive
Now this holds 2 meanings for me.
Firstly I'm learning to drive a car, it's costing me more money than I can afford and I don't really seem to be getting any closer to passing my test, I'm at the point of desperation with it (see, another miserable D word) I really need something to practice in but I can't afford a car or the insurance - but it's also getting to the point where I may have to stop the driving lessons anyway as I've pretty much reached the bottom of my overdraft, with no real income..
It's a vicious circle.
Secondly I'm determined (woohoo, a positive one) to not let this illness beat me. I have the drive and motivation to do anything I can to get well enough to work again. Sadly it's the finances that let me down (as always) but I'm getting there - slowly.

Dance
I love to dance, I used to be quite good at it apparantly. Not in any professional way, but people would tend to stop and watch when I shook my lil booty on a friday night in the fishbowl at Jillys.. Ahh the good old days. Dancing for me was a great release, I'd go out just to hit the dancefloor, you could always tell if I'd had a bad night because I'd be drunk - If I was still sober at 5am it meant the tunes had been going my way and I was a sweaty but happy footsore little minx. Even now, if I have the energy and no one's about I'll stick on a couple of happy tunes and jig about the flat. I can't do the clubs anymore but the love of dancing has never left me - there's always going to be a tune that makes me start - even when I know it's a bad idea.

Defective
That would be me.
I'm broken, mend me with a new one *grin* damaged is probably the more apt word, in fact that will be my next one and I'll explain why there. But defective sums up my mental and physical state quite well, my life revolves around this damned illness because I have no choice. When I can I do the things that interest me, sadly none of those things are of a physical nature, I can't really give myself over to the release of dancing like I used to, I can no longer practice Wing chun or jiu jitsu, I can't even go for the long walks I used to love - because to do so leaves me drained and bed ridden - the fear of that result stops me from doing many things, and yet I still do more than I should according to my CBT therapist.

The thing is - I always used to be on the go, every moment of my life was spoken for. people who know me would never believe it now - but at one time friends had to book me weeks in advance if they wanted to see me, any spare time I had was spent catching up on my sleep or catching up with people online. At one point I was in 3 bands, worked 2 jobs, did a martial art, went out at least 3 nights a week and still fit in visits to and from friends across the country - now I do a part time computer course and think how great it is that I can manage it.
God that's depressing.

Damaged
This word was used just this morning to describe my family. The relationship I have with them - that we have with each other - is flawed at best.
I won't go into any detail but as far as the nature or nurture question goes.. Nurture has a lot to answer for in the way we all deal with confrontation. We do not communicate - and to be honest I don't think any of us want to, especially with certain members of the family.
It's hard to mend rifts and to try to help with problems that were in the making before you were even conceived, but to try again and again only to be disappointed, let down and betrayed by people who are supposed to be the closest to you.. Well some damage is beyond repair and that's when any attempt at a dialogue is closed for good.

Delight
I just love the word itself. There is no meaning personal to me - but it conjurs up images of genies and desserts, that little act of thoughtfulness by someone who didn't need to - it's just a wonderful expression. Seriously, think of the word 'delight' for a moment, doesn't it just conjure up the image of someone with a beautific grin plastered across their face? The involuntary little jump up and down in a seat whilst excitedly clapping their hands 'happiness dance'
It's a great word, we should see more of it.

Drums
I love drums, I sold my first drumkit to buy my first motorbike after I gave up attempting to play 'em. I would dearly love to get a V-drum kit (and a place big enough to keep it *grin*) so I could try and take it up again, I was never at any kind of 'playing with a band' standard - but man it was fun!
There's just something about rhythm that gets you - I had a bass guitar once too, sadly I lost contact with the lad who has (had?) it, but I love me some drums - one of my best away breaks was at the womad festival in morecombe - my hands were literally raw that day, I left the drum tent once for a bite to eat - I stayed there till they shut it down.. It was awesome!

2006-06-21T11:15:00.000+01:00

I had a really nice time down at the in-laws, mind you, we always do. I went strawberry picking on Giulias allotment, managed to nearly kill myself attempting to water the beans and things (I'm so weak and pitiful *sigh* I'm also not really made for outdoor work - the first sign of any insectoid scurrying had me backing off sharpish with many a yelp.. I've said I'd be best going back when they do the digging, I'll just shift all the rocks and thing *grin*)

In fact the whole Watford experience was marred only by the attack.
Yup, yours truly was attacked, I also now have a scar as a result of the attack - just a small one, but it's there.

I woke up before Stef for a change and bimbled downstairs, saw the note from Giulia asking him to let the chickens out so I thought I'd do it. Wandered down the garden in my nightie, opened up the big door and watched the cockeral chivvy his ladies outside, a few minutes later I realised I'd opened the wrong door and so I went back down the garden to remedy this - that's when he struck.

I could do nothing to fend him off, I'm there in my nightie he's there with his beak and his claws..
Seriously - I ran back up the garden path like a bat out of hell, the feckin' cockeral chasing me the whole way. Little bastard drew blood as well.
Never again, he can sit in the roost and COOK before I'll think about letting him out again.
He was laughing at me all day - I just know it.

2006-06-16T11:31:00.000+01:00

Ahhh..
Just 3 pages of content, some link changes and a few image issues to resolve and my site will be done, I'm giving myself 3 weeks to complete it (it was 2 but I've still got my photoshop project to do and we're heading down south again for a few days so I won't be able to work on either there)

Life is pretty good, I feel like I have some sort of purpose again, once my last course has finished I'll be free to visit people (funds allowing) and generally.. well *dances* I'm just feeling great.

Who knows it may even last long enough for me to get a job *grin* I do have some tentative plans on this front but they are subject to someone else so I'm not gonna say anymore and jinx it as of yet. Brandie - I'm reet chuffed missus, no need to say more aye aye *wink* *wink*

I shall also be stopping off in Daventry to see the brother pictured below on the way back from Watford, I'll have to try for more incriminating pics (should be easy, he really cannot handle his beer lol)
Oooh.. and something to share with you all - it's a MUST HAVE item..
If you can be arsed joining the ipod lot.. I'm not an itunes fan so I've not bothered (well, ok, that and being constantly skint lol) If I did have an mp3 player though, it'd be this one (in purple of course) though if this was in purple (and I had the money) it'd be perfect for those long coach journeys..

Been having trouble with the bills again. scottish power are bloomin' useless. It seems that instead of setting up a duel fuel account over a year ago, they've been debiting just for the electricity, it's my own fault for not checking but once a direct debit is set up you don't tend to worry about it do you? Anyhow I think Stef managed to get it sorted (he's a good lad) so I guess we'll just have to wait and see..

I'm kinda bricking it as far as my driving test goes though. I got Stef to come out with me on my last lesson.. It was not one of my best *sigh* I just wish I had some way of practicing, it wouldn't have been anywhere near as expensive if I had (although I guess insurance puts the lie to that..) I've just had a ganders at this site and now I'm more worried than I've been since starting the damned lessons.
I'm never going to pass and the £471.50 I've stumped up in lessons and theory test will have been completely wasted.. *sigh* Here's hoping I just get a very sympathetic examiner - when I get the balls to book a test that is, they aint cheap either!

I hate having no money! Grrr.. Roll on earning a living again!

2006-06-12T00:53:00.000+01:00

ohhh.. I'm a happy bunny now I am, the nameserver change has finally gone through so yours truly can start uploading stuff to rosevibe.me.uk

I'm gonna have a website all of my very own..

*GRIN*

This makes me a proper official geek now, not only have I paid for this but I'm all happy dancing chuffed to buggery about it.
Serious, I keep typing it in to gaze lovingly at the holding page (because until I go into college on Tuesday I've no idea how to go about actually putting my content on there) It's like standing outside my new house before I've been given the keys - all excited and happy but anxious to get inside and start unpacking..
How sad am I?

Oh.. And just for amusements sake, here's a lovely pic of my baby bro at his girlfriends house, how she puts up with him I'll never know..

Now for the email so he can see that I've embarrassed him before the world *GRIN*
I'm sooo happy..

2006-06-11T19:24:00.000+01:00

I'm well chuffed!

The vocal samples I've been sweating over recording for Paul (literally in this weather since all doors, windows and curtains have to be closed for soundproofing) have culminated in an actual track.
*grin*

At first I was a bit 'oh my god!' because it's one thing to be chuckling away and recording the most outrageous sentances you can think of and quite another to hear someone use them! The more I listen to the track though the more I hear, I love it!

I'm still having problems setting up my own domain and using the hosting etc so as soon as that's sorted I'll throw it up here for your listening pleasure - if you can't wait that long though, try here

2006-06-10T19:06:00.000+01:00

I'm still compiling the content for my site..
It's a lot of info, all text as well - I need to find a way of breaking it up so it's not as daunting to visitors. Mind you, the people who'd be looking for a site like mine are after information not pretty pictures so I guess I'll have to see what the initial feedback is like.

I've managed to avoid the footaball today - quite a feat considering it's Englands first match. I went shopping instead, didn't really buy anything, though I did treat myself to a tortofu limoncello at puccinis - I was just so HOT!

What is it with this weather? Manchester is sunny, not just sunny but feckin' sweltering too. The fact that when I got home I shut all the doors , windows and curtains so I could do a little recording didn't help..

On the plus side - the washing is drying incredibly quickly!

2006-06-08T13:35:00.000+01:00

I have today spent a princely sum of cash to purchase my own domain name and some space on a server.

I'm now having a headache trying to sort the fecker out so I can stick my website up for your viewing pleasure. Never fear - it will resolve itself. I'm quite chuffed with my domain name though,
I didn't realise you could get 'me.uk' isn't that just perfect for a website devoted to information on cfs/me?

Obviously I had to use rosevibe, I've become very fond of this handle having used it for so long. It's also pretty unique, I've yet to come across anyone else using it in my virtual travels, it also means I can use my banner *grin* anything to cut down on the work needed to make the site pretty eh?!

I've found some great resources over the last couple of days, when I can be bothered I'll do a geek list of links for any of you like minded lovelies - but in the meantime just have a ganders here some brilliant articles with pretty easy to follow instructions.
I especially loved this one though, it made me think of a few blogs I've seen and shook my head at, I cannot abide 'txt spk' away from a mobile phone - it came about as a way of saving money, now it's used across the board and I think it's sheer laziness.

I know I'm not the most grammatically correct person on the web, nor is my spelling fantastic - I don't even bother with a spellchecker, that's how lazy I am. but at least you don't have to sit and work out what I'm trying to say!

If I come across a site of 'txt spk' I leave instantly.
I can handle sparkly flashy pictures and marquee text, I'll even sit around and wait for flash content to load up (ok, sometimes I'll wait) but if the writing is not immediately legible then I won't bother.

Lets just say I'm having fun making my site and now I've taken the step of spending money i'll have to buck my ideas up and get it finished so you can view and tell me what y'all think.

*starts bouncing up and down and clapping hands excitedly*

My first website.. I'm sooooo happy!

2006-06-06T12:46:00.000+01:00

My Pc is female and she has the hots for my man.
It's the only explanation.

Now he has his own pc, it's newer, faster, prettier and he spends his life on city of heroes with her (yeah, cheers for that K..) My little lady is throwing a hissy fit.

I had Claire and her blokey visiting this weekend, she helped me get my pc all set up for the purposes of recording.. Everything was working just fine on the sunday.
Stef fecks orf out for the day on monday after dropping our guests off at the station, I rub my hands in glee and power up - only to find that there is now no sound.
None at all.

I decided to have a rant on the forum mainly because I couldn't get blogger up either *sniff* feckers..

Of course, as soon as I leave it to go and have a play, he comes home and she starts up just fine.
Did I mention I hate my Pc?

I also hate eating my lunch surrounded by screaming unsupervised kids.
After 5 minutes of trying unsuccessfully to put fork to mouth I gave up and went back down to the computer lab. Thankfully Cath had no probelm with me feeding at my desk after a whinge. Seriously, after snatching my bag out of little hands 4 times and removing the fingers of the child beside me from the plug socket twice I just didn't think I could survive 30 minutes in the communal kitchen, someones child would have ended up through a window, or at the very least stabbed several times with a fork - I'm doubting the parent would have noticed..

I'm currently sat trying to figure out why I have no sidebar on my project website, all the div tags are where they should be - my stylesheet is set up..
Hair? after yesterdy and today if I have any that isn't white I'll be amazed..

2006-06-01T12:27:00.000+01:00

What happens when technology finally understands a woman?movie link, needs quicktime to run

personally if that ever happened I'd forsee a lot of men being dumped lol
But seriously.. The iBra?

When I was at the hospital I was bored (as you get when you're 45 minutes early for an appointment) so I started flicking through the magazine on the seat beside me - which is when that particular ad caught my eye.
Seriously, for about 30 seconds I though it was a new apple product - maybe they were branching out into the realms of womens underwear (hey, plenty of geeks there wishing they could I'll bet *grin*)

But the whimsy was not sustainable for long because nowhere in this bra is there an MP3 storage facility *sigh* if only..

2006-05-31T01:37:00.000+01:00

I've been going through my cfs blog and quite interestingly it turns out that all the crapness I've been feeling physically the last few weeks are very sinilar to what I was feeling this time last year, who knows maybe I'm grasping at straws but it could be a pattern..

I'm off to see the shrink again tomorrow, she can slap my wrists and tell me what a bad girl I am for going against her advice with regards my course, but here's hoping I can get her to refer me for acupuncture or reflexology, anything to help with the pains.
The only thing I can really settle to is working on the pc, doing that I can distract myself from physical sensation, doing the washing up or cleaning the flat just seems to emphasise every little twinge - I know that sounds like an excuse, but I really can't face doing much of anything at the moment - which is why I just spent the last hour going over that blog, I was hoping to find something I may have done and forgotten that could help - lets face it, my memory is pretty much non-existant so it's always possible.

*sigh* I was really feeling good and positive about everything, but the last few days have been totally crap and the money thing is rearing it's ugly head again, there are things I want to buy, I want to be able to move somewhere bigger so I can at least do the things I want whether Someone else in the flat or not.
Lets face it - I can't do any recording in a 1 bed flat with him pottering about - the pc's make enough noise without that - and that's without taking into account the fact I'm too embarrassed to do that kind of thing with him around, I feel inhibited with someone looking over my shoulder!

Meh! I just need to figure out what I was doing before that was different to what I'm doing now - besides the courses. Something has triggered the lack of decent sleep, the aches and the general narkiness (well, ok, the narkiness is because I'm tired and in constant pain, I may not be functioning fully in the brain department but even I can figure that one out)

It's just frustrating that there is no cure, I can almost understand how a cancer patient feels - this may not be as deadly, but it's equally nasty to live with - at least there is a recognisable sign you have cancer - with this.. Nothing.

I look and sound 'normal' even though I feel like utter dogcrap.
I know I'm whinging again, but I have no one to actually talk to about this - I just get told to shut up and be positive before I've even completed the first sentance *sigh* that doesn't really help my frame of mind when I feel like this - it just makes me think that my thoughts and concerns are not worth listening too - that they don't care, aren't bothered..

Sometimes you need to get stuff off your chest - no matter how pessimistic you feel, and instead of being told to shut up it would just be nice if I were offered a hug and the chance to let it all out uninterrupted.

2006-05-30T00:00:00.000+01:00

If you're feeling down and everything seems hopeless - never fear, Kozo the dancing hippo will bring back that cheer!

2006-05-29T15:25:00.000+01:00

Was chatting to Neil last night and in the course of our conversation he helped me to solidify an idea in my mind of the website I want to create as my course project.

I'm going to make a site about M.E./ CFS.
I know there are a lot out there already, but the information's is so varied they tend to be quite confusing - and the ones that do offer the most up to date and understandable information tend to ask you to pay to become a member.
The plus side of all this means I can also use the project for my photoshop course, as the end product needs to be a poster advertising something - I'll just advertise my website *grin* means I can cut the time as well because all the images I end up using in my poster can be used on the website.
So for the next couple of weeks I'm going to be sourcing content and hurting my eyes by tampering with pixels. The blog facelift will just have to wait (again) I may be asking a couple of you for help and advice *glances at Debambam and Smidsey* and I'm finally going to have to go purchase myself some webspace and another domain name (only this one'll get more use than musicalmixer ever did)
Oh and I've now got a copy of reason - so once the course has finished I'll set myself to properly making some music to play for y'all.
*grin* assuming any of you come back after the terrible neglect I've shown this blog the last few weeks..

2006-05-28T00:51:00.000+01:00

I've been feeling pretty crappy lately, drained, aching and generally under the weather - this has not made me an easy person to live with.

I try really hard not to be snappy and irritable with my man when I'm feeling like this, but it's not easy, which is why I was really glad he went out most of yesterday, gave me chance to recharge my batteries a bit without feeling guilty about lying on my backside doing nothing.

I woke up feeling a lot better this morning - still aching (joy) but awake, alert and functioning - right up until we went shopping, I came back and basically snarled at anything he said - did I mention that I get hypersensitive when I'm like this? Means I take everything personally and get depressed very easily.
All the family shit that's going on hasn't helped any - I know I'm trying to stay well out of all the hoo ha, I don't need the stress and tension getting involved would bring - but even just hearing about it from other people is enough to send me into a funk, I tense up, have nightmares..
Family suck arse.

It's all very well trying to distance yourself from things physically but thoughts and memories are hard to turn off - so I've been feeling quite low. Can't even blame it on pmt *sniff* So I've been immersing myself in books, dreamweaver and photoshop to take my mind off things, sadly being in constant pain is not something you can tune out easily.

I hate this - have I mentioned that to you guys before? I want to be well, I want to know that I can wake up in a morning and remember what I have to do that day, I want to be able to go for a nice long walk somewhere pretty and not have to spend the following day in bed.

I'd especially like to be able to get a job again and stop worrying about how I'm going to pay for the things I want.

But in the meantime I'll conserve what energy I have for college, continue to bite my tongue when all I want to do is scream at someone and hope that at some point I can really have a life again instead of making happy faces at my almost life.

Now I guess I'd best get my arse to bed so that I have enough energy to clean the kitchen tomorrow, isn't life just peachy?

2006-05-20T22:45:00.000+01:00

LATVIA WERE ROBBED!!!

And that's all I'm willing to say about the eurovision of this year.

2006-05-20T18:04:00.000+01:00

Last night i went to the Weavers for karaoke only to find that Friday night is no longer karaoke night - I was gutted!
Then I got very drunk, you see, normally I'm too busy reading the book, watching people and chatting to my mates to drink. As it was a 'disco' and not karaoke last night, it was too loud to chat properly and there was nothing in the way of people watching to really hold my interest.
So I drank.
Stef had to carry me home where I promptly ran to the bathroom and began praying to the porcelain god for death. After a while I managed to stagger back into the bedroom where I then hung over the side of the bed into a bucket and whimpered muchly.

What kills me is the fact that himself just kept laughing at me. He'd come into the room, smooth my hair away and just chuckle slightly at his 'poor little girl' while I then started sobbing and apologising and generally saying things like "I don't like this" and "make it stop"

Oh yes, it was not a pretty sight.

Needless to say, I shall never again touch that evil brandy drink and I am not going out tonight.
Which is a shame because tonight they do have karaoke on *sniff* and the KJ has just acquired 52,000 more songs...

2006-05-19T15:42:00.000+01:00

A company that do actually pay out *shock*

Seriously, I signed up for about a dozen of those 'we pay for your opinion' sites a while back - and not only does this one pay out (I've recieved nothing from the others - not even net 'vouchers') it doesn't bombard you with invites every other day - you only really get one survey a month or thereabouts.
Ok it's not a vast amount of money - but it pays for my transport into college *grin* now if only I could find something else that pays without a vast amount of effort on my part...

Oh - and if you love me, you'll click on and sign up with 'em because that'll give me a nice little back hander *grin*

2006-05-18T13:29:00.000+01:00

Anal bouquet.

That just tickled me is all so I thought I'd share it with you. I've been chatting a lot on the muso forums on and off and it's been fun. I'm starting to get to grips with photoshop, as soon as I have a copy at home I'll be able to play around with it properly and amaze you all with my creativity - until that time I shall just play around at college with it.
My plans for web domination are being shelved at the moment, I'm just too tired and easily distracted to be playing around with code *sigh* I'd like to, I just can't seem to manage is all.
But it shall happen - I'll soon have some style sheets worthy of Debambam *grin* she really does put me to shame, I've been making noises about doing this sort of thing since I started this blog 2 years ago and she's already gone and done it - incredibly well too I may add!

Right, I'm off for a quick snooze before college - toodle pip.
Oh, and how does 'tofu steak' strike you as a name for a covers band?

2006-05-14T11:03:00.000+01:00

What an absolutely cracking night!
I ate so much I was literally feeling unwell before we left the restaurant - but man it was worth it!

Both sets of parentals got along swimmingly, I knew Eileen and Giulia would hit it off, but the funniest part of the night was Doug and his 'itchy head' routine with the manager, that had us in stitches. The food though - we all love puccinis it's by a long stretch the best restaurant in manchester.
For atmosphere and food anyhow - the staff are all friendly and make a point of coming over and having a laugh with you (unless you're obviously doing the romantic thing in which case they just check you're ok and then leave you be) and they loved the fact that Giulia is italian - every member of staff that spoke italian had to come over and have a chat with her, it was just a fantastic evening all told.

Giulia liked it so much it seems we're heading back there tonight *grin* seems we're in no danger of being forgotten by them lol I'm betting everytime we go in after this weekend Stef gets asked how his mama is.

2006-05-13T16:07:00.000+01:00

I woke up to the sound of rain against my window.
Normally that's a rather comforting sound as I cuddle up to my beloved but this morning it just added to my general mood.
I lay there, half asleep, wallowing in my misery until the early morning peace and quiet was shattered by the strident tones of my polyphonic ringtone.
Scrambling over the previously somnolent form of my honey to reach it before it disturbed everyone else - I was disgusted to hear the off key tones of my brother screaming 'happy birthday' down the phone at me.

It's just adding insult to injury when you get dragged out of bed at 7.35am on your 30th.

Now I'm not a mardy (really I'm not) but a gals allowed to feel a little down when hitting 30, especially when not one of her mates can make it up to celebrate and the celebration is a meal (organised almost as an after thought) when I'd really wanted to do something out of the ordinary *sniff*
Watching football on tv is not my idea of a fun time.

On the plus side though - I did pass my theory test yesterday so now all I need to do is learn to drive that feckin car without stalling so I can get a license.

2006-05-09T13:51:00.000+01:00

I'm thinking this blog needs a makeover - expect much plainness and ick over the next few weeks as I start again from scratch.

But hey, it's not like i ever put anything of any real interest on here is it?
*grin*

catcha laters peeps!

2006-05-08T13:31:00.000+01:00

I spent most of last night surfing music sites and thinking about old times and what covers used to go down well with the various bands I sang with.

Was an incredibly pleasent way to spend an evening I have to say.

I have a busy week ahead of me again, driving lesson in 15 minutes followed by a quick buzz around the shops - I'm kinda craving beans on toast (not possibly the best in view of my plans for the evening, but I'll get some beans in anyhow) I'm heading up to moorside social club to have a jam with some guys who contacted me on musofinder (which is a great site by the way) should be interesting...

I've been listening to the stranglers 'peaches' to try and learn it, it's um.... not really written for a lass is it *grin* still, I'll 'richard cheese' it - they know I'm not up for anything serious yet, I need to be consistantly well for that, wonder if I can talk 'em into playing a bit of weird al...

Supposedly going to see V for Vendetta after college on tuesday with Sean in Bradford - it's apparantly an imax showing there, looking forward to that because the film looks like a corker.

oooops, best be off - wish me luck with that damned clutch today - if I don't 'get' it I'm spending the afternoon in tears - not a great precourser to an evening of singing.

2006-05-05T22:20:00.000+01:00

Quotes of the day

"slugs come from fat people. Everyone knows that"

"...and because it's so quiet it's the perfect crippling machine"

2006-05-02T11:52:00.000+01:00

Currently sat in college - I'm so glad the web design course is using pc and not mac... Me no likee the mac...

Since I am the only student on the course with any knowledge of html (and who says blogging gets you nowhere?) I've been given free rein to entertain myself while everyone else learns about tags - actually, until just now I hadn't realised just how much I've managed to learn purely through messing with my template.
We'll be going on to css next week and be at the dreamweaver portion of the course by the week after - at which point another of the girls will be doing what I'm doing now...

It's cool though - this may be a bit boring for me today, but there are other portions of the course where I'm completely clueless at present.

Still... I get to go on lunch soon, feeding my face is always something to look forward to - especially since I'm just down the road from the wing yip which means chinese baked goods for lunch *salivates*
Oh yeah - and I'm now going to be jamming with some guys in Swinton on Monday evening - life is good!
All I need to make it perfect is a complete lack of financial worry, but then doesn't that apply to anyone these days?

2006-05-02T06:40:00.000+01:00

This is the most plausible phishing email i've had to date, they've finally realised i'm english for starters!

Notice how all contact information has been left off except for a complaint to the online claims department....

THE BRITISH ONLINE GAME 2006
UK-LOTTO HEADQUARTERS:
45 ELMDENE RD WOOLICH,
SE 16 TZ,UNITED-KINGDOM.
Customer Service
Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369

WINNING NOTIFICATION:
We happily announce to you the draw(51033) of the UK-LOTTO SweepstakeLottery International programs held on the 29th APRIL 2006.in LEEDS UNITED-KINGDOM. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 56475600545 188 with Serial number 05/1037 drew the lucky numbers
2 10 11 28 36 47 33
which subsequently won you the lottery in the 1st category. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 1,000,000.00(One Million Pounds) in cash credited to file ktu/9023118308/03. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 companies.This promotion takes place annually.Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this,your 1,000,000.00(One Million Pounds) would be released to you by our payment office in europe.Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.
For security reasons,you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claims is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize.This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements. Please be warned.
To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent:

Mr
Email:
www.thelotter.com/Results_.asp?Lottery=24
TEL:+
Note:To avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please quote your reference/batch numbers in any correspondences with us or our designated agent. All prize funds must be claimed not later than One month,after this date all funds will be returned to the LOTTERY TREASURY as unclaimed.
Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program.Thank you for being part of our promotional lottery program.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Richard K Lloyds.
Program Coordinator

Warning!!!: Fraudulent emails are circulating that appear to be using British National Lottery addresses, but are not from The British Lottery.
PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO :
CUSTOMER CARE/COMPLAINTS DEPT:

CUSTOMER CARE/COMPLAINTS DEPT:

britishlotteryonlineclaimsdept@yahoo.co.uk

Our winners are assured of the utmost standards of confidentiality, and press anonymity until the end of proceedings, and beyond where they so desire. Be further advised to maintain the strictest level of confidentiality until the end of proceedings to circumvent problems associated with fraudulent claims. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program.
Important Notice: Your Email address and winning information were provided by INTERNET AND EMAIL CENSORS ASSOCIATION The United Kingdom Lottery accepts no blame for any unwarranted use of email addresses, therefore all blames, complains should be directed to the INTERNET AND EMAIL CENSORS ASSOCIATION.
Copyright © 1994-2006 The British National Lottery Inc.
All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guideline

2006-05-01T01:46:00.000+01:00

It's just all go in my life at the moment, this is a good thing methinks.

I have my 2 courses on a tuesday and thursday respectively, driving lessons on a monday and wednesday (though not ~~tomorrow~~ *checks watch* um... today, it's a bank holiday) I may be viewing houses with Sean on friday if he's made the appropriate appointments and on saturday I should be meeting up with the lovely lad I spent most of the evening chatting to on msn.

"Another man?" I hear you gasp.

Don't worry - it's purely a musical thing and Stef knows all about it *grin* he should do, had to sit through it earlier when Steve came round to the flat.
I'm now officially helping write some tunes, and the guy has some cracking riffs! when they're done I'll post 'em so you can have a ganders.
Shouldn't be anytime soon though so don't hold your breath ;o>

Been checking out this website Claire told me about, it's a hook-up joint for muso's in the UK - a lot of the profiles seem to be updated infrequently, but the forums are ok and I've already had a 70's disco band ask if I'd be interested in joining them...
Be still my rising ego...

Which reminds me - the lovely lad said he was surprised bands weren't "lining up for me" *grin* isn't he just the sweetest? You see, flattery will get you anywhere - I'm putting lyrics to his song's aren't I?

I made him record the tracks onto my pc so I've got something to work with (thankyou HK for telling me about audacity I've still not sorted out cubase etc so that worked out just right, I'm going to have to remedy the software situation though - so much to do...)

My mate Chris is also being kind (and generous) enough to source me some software I need for my course, I love knowing computer people - I just wish I was a little more savvy myself *sigh* I'll get there with it.

2006-04-28T15:18:00.000+01:00

Wow, so many posts in one day - and such goodness too *grin*

You'll like this one though - a while ago I sent a poem to my best mate Claire, she came up with the start of a track from it, we batted the lyrics around some more then she lost interest and the track vanished.
She's just emailed me a link to her artists page, the lovely lass has gone and finished it - and credited yours truly as well *does happy dance* She did all the hard work but hey, I'm not complaining.

Go here, click on the word 'music' at the top of her page, select 'joy of the dancer' and sit mesmerised by the dirty gif I sent her to go with the track...

Better yet, register with the site - vote the track 'hot' and maybe you'll see us in the charts, I'll be the funky bez-ette behind her...

She really is great though, download the lot of 'em and be amazed at the fact that she wrote, recorded, played practically all the instruments and sang all the vocal parts herself.
She's so talented it makes me sick.

Seans trip to Ecuador

2006-04-28T14:47:00.000+01:00

CIMG4192, originally uploaded by p_headless_g.

See now, it's things like this that make me afraid of travel.
We've got it so lucky in England, we must have the least frightening insect life on the planet - lets face it, some of the spiders are big and scary, but nothing compared to this beastie.
Take a look at the rest of what he has on show - I can't wait to read about it when he finally gets around to writing the trip up.

Here's an email I recieved from him at the start of his trip this time (for those of you who've been around awhile, Sean is the filthy housemate mentioned in many of my posts)

A quick note before I go onto the trip out to Bilsa - My usual day in Quito goes something like this:
Get up in the morning, shower and head out to find some breakfast. More often than not this ends up being breakfast at a place called the Magic Bean, which has great coffee and overpriced pancakes.
After that I tend to go track down an internet cafe as this is usually around eleven or so in the morning, early evening in the UK so there's usually people on. I check e-mails, check news, check pretty much everything I can to waste some time. I'll talk to people over MSN for a while and drink more coffee.
Once it gets to about midday, sometime past that I'll go hunt down some lunch (which changes on a daily basis as there's an unlimited variety of food to eat around here. The only problem is the gringo prices. There are plenty of places that I go to from time to time with the intent of being frugal that serve meals of cheese/chicken soup followed by a plate of plantaines, rice and beef/chicken/vegetables. It's more than enough to keep a person fed and only runs at about a dollar for the whole thing, including a glass of fresh juice) and then walk around the city.

When I first got here I walked for miles every day, as far as I could in one direction then as far as I could in another direction, then turn around and come home. Frequently it was beginning to get dark as I got back, so I'd either get dinner or check e-mail again (but never the both together) and head over to the Reina Victoria.
The Reina Victoria is a small pub near the outskirts of Gringoland run by an Australian (who I've never seen) and Dorothy, from Chicago (who is there every night chatting quite happily to the clientele). Sean, the usual barman, is from Dover and I get to chat to him quite a bit. He's what could be referred to as a thouraghly decent bloke, though he is slowly beginning to show weariness at having to live in this city.
Chad and Luis are the two 'waiters' I see most often there, although there are five who rotate shifts. Chad's probably the most laid back person I've ever met. He's normally a ski-instructor in Colorado but his girlfriend is teaching in a school here so he's here for as long as it takes for them to move on. Luis I know little about other than he's an Ecuadorian working in the Reina to pay his way through school. He's usuallly a decent guy although he has less to say for himself, probably the result of being in a bar where English is the preferred language. Anyway, this is the place I come to drink. There are a couple of pictures up in my Flickr page you can see and yes, it looks like the most stereotypical English pub in the world. I go there for two reasons - First, they have the best microbrewed stout in the world which is made by some guy down the street. It's completely lacking foam but delicious stuff nontheless. The only problem is in the 7% alcohol content, which knocks you out slowly and painfully if you're not careful.
The other reason is the interesting people I get to meet there. I've met old men from Yorkshire with a penchant for getting several hookers at once, taking them for a drink in the pub then heading home with them.
Alledgedly he's here to write a book about the history of genetic reserarch but I've never seem any evidence of this barring a few drunken ramblings about how women from Aberdeen have been genetically proven to be the ugliest women in the whole of the British isles.

The other night I met a guy writing a book about the 90's being the beginning of cultural dissillusionment in England. He had his house in Birmingham blown down by the tornado last year and I became the youngest person he's going to interview for the book. I've met journalists from New York, mobile phone software engineers from Sweden, archaeologists from Minnesota, teachers from all over working as English teachers here and an uncountable number of backpackers from the UK feeling homesick. Every night I go there I get involved in some several hour long conversation about something or other, which normally ends when Sean closes up the bar at midnight, usually giving us a free one for the road before he turns off the taps.

It was only after I came here back in January that I noticed the newsweek article outside the bar that lists the 22 best places to meet people in the world - of which the Reina Victoria is one. Figures.

Anyway, back to that point I was going to make. The night before I headed out to Bilsa was pretty rough. I was only going to have a beer or two in the Reina then go back to the hostel and get an early night (the bus is at eight in the morning and if I miss it there's bugger all chance of me getting to Bilsa for another three days). Of course then, the Reina being what it is, I get caught up in a conversation about the merits of sports in Ecuador with the old man I mentioned earlier, Sean, Chad and Luis. It's a friday night and Sean makes a passing remark to Chad early in the evening that he wouldn't mind going out and getting "...totally rip-roaring drunk...". At closing time I take out my wallet and pay the bill. Sean invites me along and I'm half pissed so stupidly I agree. The old guy drives us to a bar a few streets down that'll serve us until three(sorry, I can't for the life of me remember his name at the moment. It'll come back to me later on) despite the fact that he's obviously a bit worse the wear himself.
"Are you sure you want to be driving?" I ask.
"I'm still a better driver right now than the majority of these buggers on the roads in this city" he mutters with a broad Yorkshire accent. I'm actually in agreement with him.
We get to the bar and Sean gets the first round in, cold bottles of Pilsener. I've only ever seen Pilsener come in these massive 650ml bottles. I get the second round. I forget who got the third.
I woke up the next morning with a pounding bloody headache and - lacking a watch - turn on my ipod to see the time. It's half seven. Oh, crap. I run like a mad bastard to pack up everything into my large backpack, packing only the really important stuff in my smaller one. I run downstairs (having paid my bill the night before, prior to leaving for the pub) and get a taxi on Amazonas. We get to the bus terminal maybe five minutes before it was planning to leave. I stick my larger bag into the the luggage compartment under the bus and climb aboard.
After the conductor collects the tickets and we collect a few more people on the way out of the city we're finally along the long, winding streets with suicidal drivers that lead out of Quito. I sleep like a very ill baby. I wake up when we stop to get petrol just outside of Quininde, which is my destination. There's not a cloud in the sky and the heat this low down and this far inland is so intense that I can only stand five minutes of it before I feel like my head is swelling and I need to go find a place to sit down in the shade. Thankfully, we're not there for long and soon it's back on the bus and into the city.

Quininde has nothing special about it whatsoever.
Seriously, nothing. It is a desperately poor place and serves as the closest place for people who live out in the countryside to pick up provisions. Aside from that it is never worth visiting unless you need to get somewhere else afterwards. Worse than Quito and hotter, too.
I ask the driver to drop me off at Cinco Esquinas (five corners - it gets its name from the fact that it's a small junction with five roads leaving away from it. Bet you couldn't have seen that coming, huh?) and walk to the Farmacia Barcia - still somewhat fresh in my memory from the first time I was out here. The Farmacia Barcia is a big pharmacy at one side of the road where all the flatback trucks going out to the countryside go from, by the way. Someone sees me and instantly recognises me as a volunteer.

"Bilsa?" he asks, pointing at me. "A la Ye?".
"Uh... Si." I say, still suspicious of anyone who wants me to get into their car or onto their truck unless I have some assurance of them telling the truth.

For lack of a better option, I load my bag onto the back of the flatback and wait about an hour and a half in the shade of a nearby store canopy for some kind of sign that the bus is going. People stop by every once in a while and talk to the driver, who wanders around the area not really doing anything in particular. They load things onto the back. Massive sacks of potatoes, rice, chickens... I've heard of goats on there but never seen one. An enormous drum of petrol is loaded onto the back as well.
This'll be a fun trip, I think to myself. These people drive like total maniacs around the dirt roads in the countryside. This way if we crash we're not all just going to be badly injured - we'll probably explode as well. Well, if I had to choose a way to go at least this would be dramatic. Eventually the engine starts and people start piling on. I get shoved into a space right next to the petrol drum. Gringo luck. First I count eighteen people packed onto the back with all the bags, food and the drum. Then we set off up the road. I put on my hat to shield from the sun and strangely the hangover slips away and I smile to myself, confident and happy to be on my way.

There's a certain elation to this part of the trip whenever I've taken it. Here you are, in a strange country. You're on the back of a truck with seventeen other people and a box of chickens, soon to be bouncing along dirt roads in the Ecuadorian countryside. And it's not just that. The most incredible views I have had of this country have been on this truck. It's never rained when I've made the trip and it's just two hours of sitting in the sunshine and looking at the landscape that stretches out for uncountable miles in the distance, vast lush greenery split up only by the occaisional wooden farm. Then of course, you look to your left rather than your right and see a massive area of forest cut down and slowly smouldering as the fire eats up the last of it. Of all the possible ways to arrive in a biological reserve, this is the best. You see first the most incredible, beautiful scenery of your life - cicadas buzz in the air, hummingbirds dart along in front of the truck and butterflies congregate at the side of the road. But then turn your head and you see exactly why you're here - to lend a hand saving all this. In affirming personal enviromental philosophies it's unbeatable.

But that all comes in a little while. First the driver takes a wrong turn and I start worrying.
Did this guy lie to me? Am I going to end up in the middle of nowhere because this opportunistic bastard decided to lie to me to get me on his truck? Of course, these thoughts are unfounded. We've just gone into one of the slums of Quininde to pick up his three year old daughter, who gets into the front seat beside him. THEN we're off. But not before we swing by the Farmacia again and pick up even more people. As we finally, FINALLY set off I notice that one of the new arrivals is none other than Jose, one of the Bilsa staff. I have trouble putting what he does into words as it's so varied that it defies any single description. Juliette once described him and Antonio as "Guides-slash-security guards-slash-labourers" but often they were more than this, helping out with literally everything at the station. I shake his hand as he gets on. I've been practicing some Spanish for the last couple of days but I'm nowhere near proficient enough to do anything but ask for what I want and even that is done badly. We share a couple of informal greetings, him smiling broadly as usual. He asks if I'm going to Bilsa, and I say I am. "Y tu?" I ask and get a reply too complicated for me to understand. We don't really talk for the rest of the trip. Bit frustrating.

So, we get on our way. The trip is incredible, and rain spatters lightly on the brim of my hat for maybe ten minutes before it dries out. The road looks slightly muddier but surely not muddy enough to be known as the rainy season. Surely it should be pissing down on a regular basis? I'd find out more about this later.
We pass through a couple of communities on the way to La Ye. In one of them I see Fernando (boyfriend of one of the Canadian volunteers I was here with back in December and a regular fixture helping out with the bird studies at Bilsa) leaning out his door. He gives a smile of recognition and waves at me and Jose as we drive through.
We reach La Ye about four or five in the afternoon. Time is a bit of a hazy affair on this trip because of my lack of a watch. I get off, pay the driver the three dollars for the trip, unload my bag in front of a store at the side of the main square and get out the little piece of paper that Felipe at the Jatun Sacha office had given to me with instructions on how to reach Bilsa.
It was so much easier in the dry season. The roads are so dry that you can get all the way from Quininde to right outside the gate of Bilsa. In the rainy season though you need to first get to La Ye, then stay the night in nearby La Laguna, then the next morning Don Armado (who lives halfway between here and Bilsa, working primarily as a farmer and secondarily as a guide to Bilsa) arrives with your mule and takes you the rest of the journey. Bit more difficult.

Let me describe La Ye for a minute. It's a small community (too small and spread out to be considered a village or town) maybe four hours walk from Bilsa. Not many people live around here but it's constantly a bustling place just because it serves and sort of the general hub for trucks to Quininde. Quininde is, of course, the nearest place with a doctor and shops where you can buy the essentials. La Ye looks like it was pulled straight out of the wild west. A dusty town square is surrounded by wooden and simple concrete buildings, most of them just open with a large metal shutter on the front. Toothless old men sit outside wearing panama hats, spitting and cackling in the sun. There's always some of the usual folk music playing somewhere nearby and stray dogs, cats, goats, cows and mules are all common in the centre.
For anyone from a different country, this is kind of a shocking sight. This is the level of civilisation you'll be living in for the duration of your time here. Gringo culture shock.

My piece of paper says I'll be staying with the Zambrano family in La Laguna.
This information is useful but what would be even better is knowing who the Zambrano family are, where La Laguna is and even better - knowing enough Spanish to ask people in La Ye these questions.

Well, actually that's not really true. I did know enough Spanish to ask them. I just didn't know enough to understand their replies. Luckily José was there to help me out, pointing me in the right direction and even walking part of the way with me.
La Laguna is just what it sounds like; a massive, placid lagoon at the bottom of a hill maybe twenty minutes walk from La Ye. This was my first exercise since my previous time at Bilsa a month ago so walking for twenty minutes first down a steep hill then back up another steep one was harder than I expected.
Much harder.
So, I get outside the Zambrano family house and walk up to see if anyone's around. The house is a typical Ecuadorian home - wooden house, no windows up on big wooden stilts. A dog runs out from underneath the house and stop just before me, barking loudly and baring its teeth. It's been a pretty long day already so I'm beginning to have second thoughts about the whole thing. I'm on the verge of kicking the dog and running away when a woman, probably in her fifties, sticks her head out of a window and asks me what I want. I go through my memorised spiel about being a volunteer for Bilsa and is it possible to have a room for the night? She says something I don't understand in Spanish and after maybe fifteen minutes of back and forth, with her explaining where I was to stay in the simplest possible terms and me not understanding a word of it she just walks with me to show me where I'm supposed to go.
This was the difficult part of the walk, purely because I was carrying an alarming amount of equipment on my back, the sun was still beating down intensely and the walk up to the 'guest house' was all uphill. By the time I finally reached the porch of the house I was literally drenched head to toe in sweat and panting so heavily I was worried a lung was about to give out.
I rested for a while, me and Lillian Zambrano (so I got the right place after all) had another confused back and forth about whether I was allergic to anything, after which she headed downstairs to make some food. I dragged my bag upstairs into one of the rooms and was shocked at how... Well, how pretty it was.

Flickr

2006-04-28T14:38:00.000+01:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

2006-04-27T13:07:00.000+01:00

Hey - did any of you hear 'the post 9/11 blues' on radio 1 wednesday night?

It's freakin' hilarious! I've been searching around to find out what it is and I managed to find the lyrics and the guy's own page with the song itself.

here's the lyrics and you'll see what I mean:

LYRICS :

VERSE 1

What can I do
I got the post 9-11 blues
On the telly nuthin but the post 911 news
War, iraq, suicide bombs
Stop hogging the limelight and make some room for my songs!!
Anyway its all re runs
- We need a new war Bush! Go get Iran, I heard theyre talking bout your mum!
Change the channel, watch some telly for kids, but whats this??
Hi kids welcome to fun fun fun fundamentalists [kids show theme style]
In the breaks, Nikes advertising bomb-proof-kicks
They even showing Bin Ladens cave on Cribs!!
So I picked up a respectable post 911 magazine
It told me bout the new post 911 categories -
Isreali fighters are soldiers, Irish are paramilitary
- And darkie ones are terrorsists - how simple can it be?
But not me my friends say riz is still one of us
But if I havent shaved - they wont sit with me on the bus

CHORUS
Everybody do the post 9-11 dance
Look scared and shake ya ass while the bombs go blast
Everybody shake your post 911 thong
So the dossier was wrong
Jack some oil drop a bomb
Sing a song sing a long
bush and blair in a tree
K-I-L-L-I-N-G-
Shave your beard if your brown and you best salute the crown
Or theyll do you like Brazillians and shoot your ass down

VERSE 2
Post 9/11 getting around can be expensive
Cost ya 12 dead Iraqis for a litre of unleaded
And even Green Cross Codes all changed
They just teach kids to duck around low flying planes
And on the tube if you see a dude with a rucksack,
And a beard, move carriages mate - **** that!
They cancelled xmas cos of santa clauses beard and his magic
Red sac got confiscated as a suspect package
No need for Halloween 911s more scary
Osama Bin Goblin eats kids and hes hairy
Hear a knockin on the door at early dawn in the dark?
Its MI6 theyll trick or treat you to a week in belmarsh
Forget Guy fawkes hes lame
Gun powder plots dont really compare to planes
So no bonfire Halloween or christmas, theyre done
Well do it all on one day merry 911

CHORUS
Everybody do the post 9-11 dance
Look scared and shake ya ass while the bombs go blast
Everybody shake your post 911 thong
So the dossier was wrong
Steal some oil drop a bomb
Sing a song sing a long
bush and blair in a tree
K-I-L-L-I-N-G
Shave your beard if your brown and you best salute the crown
Or theyll do you like Brazillians and shoot your ass down

VERSE 3
Post 911 policy might seem harsh
But its the terrorists fault we got id cards
And a congestion charge
That theyre extending far
And electronic tags on the chav childrens arms
Course we need belmarsh and **** 28 days
We should put the whole of Oldham in its own ****in cage
Move Hounslow underground so nothing could go wrong
Lutons already moving, Bradfords already gone
Were all suspects so literally, be watching your back
I farted and got arrested for a chemical attack
Dropped some litter on the street and I caused a bombscare
But told police my name was John, they thought they caught the wrong brae
But its ok
Post 9/11 I been getting paid
Playing terrorists on telly getting songs made
but will it get airplay geeza
well, if bbc dont want it Ill send it to al jazeera

You can email the guy ( 911blues@gmail.com ) for a copy of the video when it's done but till then - just go to his myspace page and have a listen yourself.

2006-04-27T01:18:00.000+01:00

After laughing at her ingenious barbeque set up I saw this on dorenelorenz blog and thought I'd give it a go...

Here's how it works. Bold the titles you've read, italicize the ones you might read, cross out the ones you won't, underline the ones on your book shelf, and place parentheses around the ones you've never even heard of.

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - Scott F. Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. Rowling
The Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
~~Lord of the Flies - William Golding~~
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J. K. Rowling
(One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
~~Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden~~
(The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini)
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
~~Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut~~
(The Secret History - Donna Tartt)
~~Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte~~
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
(Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides)
(Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell)
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
(Atonement - Ian McEwan)
(The Shadow of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon)
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert
(Sula by Toni Morrison)
(Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier)
(The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo)
(White Teeth by Zadie Smith)
(The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton)

Now I think I should go to bed, I start my photoshop course tomorrow evening and I've a stack of housework to do before then...
I'll still get a lie in though, hopefully.

2006-04-26T14:22:00.000+01:00

I'm completely SHIT!

I never thought driving a diesal would be so different to a petrol car - or perhaps its the change in make and model that's the problem - or maybe, just maybe, I'm a crap driver.

Once again I continued to lurch my way around the roads - and I do mean LURCH. Every gear change I hopped a little more, every junction I stalled (ok, every 3 out of 5) and quite frankly I'm pissed off at myself - I nearly caused a collision when that feckin' cyclist jumped off the path directly in front of me and I'm seriously thinking whats the point?
I can't afford a car even if I ever do manage to pass the bastard test, at £18 per hour I'm becoming more penniless the longer it takes and ...Feck it!
I'm fed up.

The last lesson I can understand being a bit shitty because it was a new car and I'd had a good week and a half away from anything to do with driving, but this time I just seemed to go from awful to "what the hell am I doing?" even basic stuff like checking my mirrors before I signal is forgotten - I just cannot drive!
3 times I was nearly the cause of an accident, 2 through stalling when the guy behind was too close and once because of a feckin' cyclist who seemed to think jumping on and off the pavement in front of moving traffic was a good idea. My instructor spent most of the lesson with his foot hovering over the clutch pedal (and his hand glued to the passenger door handle) and even then I still managed to stall it.
He seems to think that all I need is some private practice because it's going to take several lessons before I'm test ready.

FANTASTIC!
Any volunteers? No?
Funny that.

Perhaps I should've bought a car first, learned to drive it then had some lessons to enable me to pass my test. Except I couldn't afford to insure it. You try insuring a learner in M27 for under £600 (3rd party only no less) it aint happening. I could of course drive illegally, but what's the point in that? 1 crash and I'm banned for life - not to mention having fecked up someone else's life for a short while.
So instead, £18 an hour lessons (so far paid £360) £21.50 for the theory test and (assuming I ever make it) £48.50 for the practical - I'm being financially raped before I even own a car!

Kill me now.

2006-04-25T16:29:00.000+01:00

I'm a busy gal these days, seems like I've finally managed to turn the corner with this whole CFS crap because I have a life again.

I signed up for 2 courses yesterday, one is just an intro to photoshop, the other is a web design course based around dreamweaver. Neither of them seem to leave me with a useful qualification but at least if I manage to see 'em through without a problem I know I'm fit enough to start looking for work again (regardless of medical diagnosis, I know my energy levels better than anyone)

I'm also continuing with the driving lessons, my theory test is now booked in for the 12^th of may, so if I fail it my birthday is going to be called off so I can revise some more. I'm nowhere near ready for the practical though - yesterday I managed to stall a diesal.
I think my instructor was a little worried, he drove the car off the forecourt 2 hours before my lesson, I nearly crashed twice because the pedals in the corsa are spaced differently from the ones in the polo (mistaking brake for accelerator is never good) so I have to get used to it all over again - plus the biting point is higher on the diesal...

I could go on but suffice to say: new car = starting over.

We had a lovely weekend in York with Dawn and Paul, met up with a couple of Stef's mates while we were there and had a blast. So much to see and do that we need to go back again, it was chilled and fun all at the same time.
I haven't slept that well in ages.

If you want to see the house in Thirsk we rented for the weekend then check out the virtual tour here. It's a great idea and a fab way to spend time with mates, the more of you there are the cheaper it gets, I'm seriously considering getting a load of people together sometime and renting one of the bigger places with swimming pool and games room - get a karaoke set up and what a party that'd be! *grin*
We're definitely doing it again, though this time we'd skip the guided monk tour - was a hefty trek and all the places he took us were free so it was a bit of a gyp to be truthful, funny though. His spiel was pretty good...

Check the piccys, I tend to focus on people more than places but I'm sure Stef will do a much more thorough job of it when he can be bothered with the whole upload process.

2006-04-19T12:25:00.000+01:00

Since the dooce has made talking of all things flatulent into an art form within the blogosphere, I reckon you can all stand to hear about my easter church experiences...

You see the in-laws are all Catholic (in a good way not in a preachy way) so we went to church, it being the big holy time for them and all. I managed to betray my ignorance at every turn, although thanks to having to recite it at every assembly in school I can still remember the lords prayer (even if it's the proddy version, catches me out every time!)

Anyway, there we are all sat quite happily in our pew everyone is silent (because you apparantly have to be for this service) when all of a sudden you hear this Rrrrrrrrrriiiip-rii-riii-rii-rrrr-iiip bouncing around the horribly acoustic building, it wouldn't have been so bad but the SMELL!
Seriously, I should never have had the plate of cabbage and garlic and broccoli and... well...

Dani just gave me a look of horror and as her mum turned round and said "who was that?" I sank lower into my seat head bowed in mortification and listened to Dani explain to anyone in earshot (basically the general occupancy of the church) that it was me - then the giggling started.

Oh boy did the giggling start.
Giulia looked over at me then caught Dani's eye, the shoulders started shaking as she tried to remain silent, Dani looked at me as she started chortling, that set me off properly (lets face it, you always giggle when you're embarrassed anyway) I'm still trying to keep my head down and not make eye contact with anyone because now my guts are determined to make thier presence known - and it's awful. Everytime the bench shakes due to my uncontrollable eruptions Dani starts laughing which sets her mum off again - which obviously means I'm going too.
I swear it wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for all the sitting, standing, kneeling thing - in one position you can hold it in (painful, yes - but not as embarrassing) as it is, when we came to do the handshaking thing I really couldn't look the people behind me in the eye I felt so guilty.

At least when all the candles were blown out the smoke masked the stench a little - and never have I been so glad of the catholic love of incense!
But lets just say this is one service I shall never live down. The last 2 days have been filled with more fart jokes than I've heard in my entire life - even at mealtimes. Actually, especially at meal times *sniff* it's not my fault, can i help it if my mil is a great cook and does things to vegetables that would make the pickiest kid crave them?

2006-04-13T01:01:00.000+01:00

It seems my blog addiction has well and truly departed - I never thought I'd see the time where not only do I post but once a week, even when stuff happens my first thought isn't about how to write it up... There is hope for all of you guys, if I can escape the insidious lure of the web, so can you!

Actually, I've been catching up on my dvd watching again - marathon sessions of 'dead like me' (great show) 'Pride and prejudice' and films too numerous to mention mean that my eyes are huge and kinda sunken in and my social skills have reverted to zero.

But the driving lessons continue - I've even gotten off my arse and finally signed up for a couple of web courses, one starts on the 27th April, the other is in July. So I'm feeling quite constructive in my old age, especially since the driving is coming along (as long as we all disregard my blowing up the electrics today and nearly crashing... Everyone has an off day right? Right?)
Actually I'm having a week off after easter, I'm helping someone pack up a house when we get back from watford (yup, we're heading down to the in-laws again... It's not cupboard love - truly it's not...) The best thing is though - my first lesson when I get back will be in my instructors new car - and I'll be the first of his students to drive it *grin* poor guy.

I'll be going from a lovely little 2 and a half year old petrol VW Polo to a brand new diesal Vauxhall Corsa. Which is cool, the more cars I get to try out the better! It's just a shame I don't know more people who drive so I could get some practice in!

We've also booked a lovely little cottage in a place called Thirsk for a weekend after easter - this going away with friends is ace, I could get used to it... Roll on earning decent money again eh?!

I feel fairly ok these days, my illness is on the mend but I'm still being told to take it easy.
When I said I'd like to do a course to my specialist, I was told point blank not to do a full time one which ticked me off a little - most of the really useful ones that actually have a worthwhile qualification at the end of 'em are full time, the ones I'm signing up for are more to break me in gently and keep the enthusiasm going, one is based around dreamweaver and the other is based around photoshop and digital imaging.
But hey, I'm doing something fairly constructive so it's ok.
Oh - and for anyone who's interested, here's the link to our lake district pics (Stef put 'em up already so I'll just pinch his, I can't be arsed loading 'em up again - seems like a waste of bandwidth)

Right, bed is calling - once again himself is snoring on the couch and I've lost track of time - so much for my resolution to hit the sack before midnight eh!?

2006-04-05T22:10:00.000+01:00

I have clutch control!

Seriously, today I drove the damned car with no problems - I even reversed around a corner flawlessly (on the 3rd try) Next week I'm onto 90 minute lessons so hopefully I can turn todays experience into an everyday occurrance.

I also need to revise the highway code a bit more before I do the theory test because I'm regularly getting an alternate pass and fail on the fake one - my instructor is lending me a book containing all the possible questions to bone up with next week...

I'm just soooooooo happy *grin*

I also had a pretty damned good weekend.
A rather sketchy American lad came up from london to visit, well, okay - the visit part was secondary.
He actually came up to watch the Jerry Springer Opera with me, and go karaoke.

I was half expecting to see picketers outside the theatre because I'd been told there were some very militant christians campaigning against the show, but when we arrived there were very few people to be seen, it was 2.30 in the afternoon though so maybe they all showed up for the evening performance...

For me, the man who stole the show was not 'Jerry' It was Johan Pearson.
This actor had me in stitches while hardly speaking a word. He had the pleasure of playing 'Steve' Jerry's head of security.
Now the first half was just ridiculously funny - in the way you expect from a Jerry Springer show, losers and misfits all vying for the spotlight as they air their dirty laundry, another actor worth mentioning was Trevor Jary his role of lovelorn transvestite was carried off with much relish and his personality even stood out amongst the crowd during the dance scenes when everyone wore the same costume.

The thing that struck me the most though was the musical score - how can you not laugh out loud at the words "crackwhore" and "stupid slut" being sung in full operatic voice and 4 point harmony?

I admit the second act had me squirming a little at certain points - and I'm not religious.
But let's have a look at that shall we?
Jesus is portrayed as a large black man in a nappy.
Now, that I don't really have a problem with - given the time and the area Jesus lived he probably was black, and a loin cloth is basically a nappy. (Umm.. That's a diaper to all you yanks out there *grin*)
But to have him say he's "a little bit gay" and then to have Mary come out and say she was abandoned by Jesus while the Devil tells her she was raped by god... well, that's a bit much even for me to take.

But I did have a very childish giggle at the devil being called a "cunting cunting cunting cunting cunt" (again in full operatic 4 part harmony)
There were other bits that made me glad I hadn't pushed to get the blokey to join us when he refused to see it, he is a catholic and after seeing the show I can fully understand his disgust at it.
But all in all I enjoyed the experience, it made me laugh out loud and I got to see some very talented men and women at work - not to mention shake hands with a very convincing Jerry *grin*

Still - since it wasn't aimed at anything from the islamic faith at least I didn't have to worry about the theatre being bombed while I was in it.
Nor did I have to watch my back as I entered and left for missiles or molotov cocktails, instead when we left there were 4 or 5 very polite people handing out leaflets entitled "Jerry springer the opera, what's all the fuss about?" a rather well written and sane discussion about why this show is deemed horribly offensive.

I have to admit that I found it utterly hilarious in places and wouldn't have a real objection to seeing it again in a theatre, but it would be a guilty pleasure because of the issues it raises about consideration and understanding of the faith of millions merely by it's existance.

People agree that the killing and bombing of people and buildings that we've witnessed from those claiming to be of Islamic faith is wrong. Yet it also looks as though a case of the squeaky wheel gets the grease has become the way of the world.
Where's the Jerry Springer show about Mohammed and the Taliban?
I can just hear the chorus of "talk to the, talk to the, talk to the Koran!" in that magical operatic 4 part harmony - certainly has more of a ring to it than "talk to the stigmata.."

2006-03-29T11:04:00.000+01:00

I've been away since last wednesday - the majority of the week has been spent in the Lakes, It's really gorgeous out there - even in the incessant rain.
The caravans (well, static homes) were more spacious than my flat, so much so that at the bargain price of £29,950 it's almost worth considering buying one and moving to the lakes *grin* hows that for british trailer trash eh?!
It was actually a really pleasent holiday - we went down with 3 other couples and their kids, on the last night we ended up in the other caravan rather than venturing out into the torrential rainpour to hit the pub (I was a little bit gutted because that meant I was denied my karaoke *sigh*) but the 6 hour game of charades we embarked upon soon dispelled any disappointment - I guess you had to be there, but seeing Alan attempt to mime out 'Living Dead girl' and Stef's 'willy wonka and the chocolate factory' had us all in stitches!
I gotta say though, kudos to Maria - she's the charade queen!

Everyone else went home on Monday but Stef and I decided to have a drive around and see the sights - in doing so I spotted a signpost to the place my dad works, we ended up going to visit him and spent the night in a pub in Digg - good food, good fun, but very lacking in females, everyone in there was a contractor for sellafield (my pa included) and apart from the barmaid, I was the only lass.
We spent the night in the room named Leopold - very nice it was too - I seriously considered pinching the curtains *grin* they'd have been perfect for our front room!

Yesterday we were up and walking to the sea at 11am - shouting encouragement to the landlady of aforementioned pub as she jogged up the hill against the biting wind.
I wish I had that kind of determination and staying power - being buffeted about just walking up the hill (okay, being towed by Stef) was enough to have me whimpering and begging to turn back - she apparantly does this every day without being made to.

We then went to the visitors centre at Sellafield, it was actually quite interesting - I especially liked the shark 'interactive film' in the immersion cinema, mainly because I appeared at the top of the food chain when the game was over *grin* what can I say - my alter ego is a total predetor.
From there we drove to Kendal - despite the fame of kendal mint cake, the town seems to be the dive of the lake district, after searching fruitlessly for a place to eat, we went to the chocolate house where Stef sorted out all his easter purchases in readiness for our next trip down south.

We finally got home around 9 last night, I fell in the bath and then rather gratefully hit the sack. It's been a fabulous few days, but tiring.

Now I need to get my arse in gear for a driving lesson - could do with breakfast but the council workers are back (8.30 they arrived) and my kitchen is off limits again.

2006-03-22T13:59:00.000Z

I cannot get clutch control!

It's starting to feck me right off. But I can't practice (no car makes it difficult) and by the time I'm starting to get it the lessons over and I have to wait and do it all over again next week.

I need a car NOW!

On the plus side, my lane discipline seems to be ok generally, handled duel carriageway and roadworks just fine, roundabouts are not much of a problem (once I'm on the fecker! Changing up from 1st to 2nd is a pisser when the roundabout is at the top of a hill! and I nearly rolled back into someone today because I didn't get the clutch/ petrol right...)

Still, he seems to think I'm ready for the whole bay parking and 3 point turn thing next week so perhaps I'm not as bad as I think I am.
I just wish I could practice more, I want to be ready for my test by the end of April!

2006-03-21T11:32:00.000Z

Ick.
I had a full blog post in my head, it was sat there eagerly awaiting escape to the net.
But it's gone.
*sigh* my head is so full of holes these days I can't seem to retain a thought for more than 5 minutes.
I'm blaming therapy (even though I've only been once) I have to go back today with my excersize diary. I lead an incredibly boring life.
It's true. The most interesting parts of my week are the driving lessons. If I'm not reading or beading then I'm online, I crash around 3 times a week and according to this, dizzy spells occur at least twice a week and the pain is a constant with several 'spikes' of nastiness occurring intermittantly.
So despite doing nothing anyway, whats the betting this bird tells me I'm doing too much? *sigh* I only do about 5hrs worth of walking in a week and it's generally just to do shopping or walking to the pub (when I go, that seems to have dwindled down to maybe once a month now)

I'm fed up.
Still, we're going to the Lakes this weekend and I'm having a girly night in with Debs on wednesday where I can worship her adorable little girls and eat my weight in chocolate (something I rarely do since I've managed to mostly cut chocolate out of my diet)
A-HA!
That's whats up with me.
I need chocolate. It's a woman thing.
Booya!

Actually I wouldn't mind another of the fondues me and the bloke shared last night at the Gaucho grill. We'd been all organised and decided ahead of time what we were going to eat (online menu's are great) only to discover that the meal I had my heart set on wasn't on the menu at the restaurant *sniff* so I had a spatchcocked chicken instead. Stef just raved about his steak and we both dribbled when discussing the dessert on the way home.
Divine doesn't even cover it! The fondue was a toffee sauce with a selection of pineapple, figs, banana fritters and strawberries to dunk in it - tell ya what, next time we're not sharing.
One each, it's just too nice to share!

The staff were lovely and unlike most restaurants the tables are spaced so that it's possible to eat and chat without having to listen to the table next to you or worry about being overheard should you lower your voice to whisper sweet nothings...

We will definitely be going there again (when we have some money... It aint cheap! Worth every penny though *salivates in remembrance*)

Ugh, my therapy time creeps ever closer... Don't get me wrong, she's a really nice bird, incredibly easy to talk to - but it makes me feel so... 'American'...

2006-03-20T16:15:00.000Z

Went down to Surey again this weekend to see my best mate, lass has not had much fun the last few weeks so as best mate it's my job to make her keel over laughing. I tried...

Finally finished making her necklaces though so it was definitely constructive - all I need to do now is catch up on the backlog of self imposed orders I have here (that and buy some more findings, beading is a bloomin' expensive hobby!

I'm at the hospital again tomorrow for more of the counciling thing - it's pretty rough going but at the same time very cathartic, I don't realy think it's that helpful as far as my CFS goes, but we'll see - it's only my 2nd visit. I also need to get my arse in gear and sort out this appeal for DLA (they cancelled it about 3 months ago saying I no longer qualify) I'm of 2 minds though, there's a large part of me saying I just can't be arsed with the hassle of it all, and there's the other part of me sat saying I need the money and I may as well try and get it...

There's actually so much going on in my life that I can't really talk about on here that I'm once again thinking of quitting the blog. Rest assured it won't happen, I'm too addicted for that, but few and far between are my posts at the moment, and far more censored than I ever thought they'd be too.

2006-03-15T15:00:00.000Z

A good 80% of the women in my social sphere are either pregnant or have just given birth to a lovely little bundle of tears, vomit and poopyness, must be that time of year...

This has reminded me of one of the best pieces of writing regarding parents I've ever seen on the web, mainly because none of my lot could ever be compared to the subjects of this fantastic piece of work, my lot know better *grin*

Go clickey and see what I mean.

2006-03-12T22:08:00.000Z

I've just spent the last 2 hours searching the net for something different and interesting to do on my birthday this year.
It seems May 13th (despite being a saturday) has been left off the social calendar. I'm a bit gutted by that because I'm 30 this year and I kinda wanted to mark the occasion.

My first idea (obviously) was to throw a big karaoke party for family and friends - but it's a saturday deep in exam time, something that has always been a curse and has led to me working on the night of my birthday more years than not.
The next problem is - where the hell would I have it, I live in a tiny 1 bed flat and I couldn't afford to book a room big enough for the people I'd like to invite (assuming they'd come considering for the majority of 'em it'd mean also having to book a hotel room) so Plan 'A' out of the window.

*sniff*

Did you know you can't even get a murder mystery or a medieval weekend booked for that date? Trust me, I've looked.

There's quite a cool thing going on in Marple over that weekend, sadly it involves the kind of activities my illness prevents me from undertaking (nice gentle stuff like rock climbing, abseiling, obstacle courses...) So plan B is also definitely out.

A mate wanted us to spend a week in a log cabin in Wales with her and her fella - I love Wales, but said mate will just wind me up in such close quarters for such a prolonged time. Besides, if I'm spending my birthday week with a mate I'd want it to be Claire and I want it to be somewhere out of the ordinary doing something other than sitting in a pub.

So, basically I'm doing nowt at the moment because I'm out of ideas of things I want to do - there's not even a gig on anywhere that I want to see.
Well, that's not strictly true, but I can't afford to fly over to the USA for any. I'd love to see the new musical Wicked showing at the Opera house in Boston Ma - but it's not exactly down the street eh?!
I guess I'll just have to keep looking - feel free to offer suggestions, it looks like I'm going to need all the help I can get for a memorable 30th.

2006-03-08T19:51:00.000Z

I got tagged way back in January and didn't notice *blush* does this makes me a bad person?
Well I've caught up on some of my reading now and if, Like Debambam, you've tagged me and I've not responded, I'm sorry...
I'll get right on it as soon as I see.

2 names you go by:
Vics
Vicky

2 parts of your heritage:
English
Spanish (which I only found out last year)

2 things that scare you:
The thought of never getting my life back
Being vulnerable

2 of your everyday essentials:
vitamin and mineral supplements
drink

2 things you are wearing right now:
purple fluffy slippers
velvet 2-tone top

2 favorite bands or musical artists:
Incubus
Aretha Franklin

2 things you want in a relationship:
Love
Laughter

2 truths:
You don't get anything for free
98% of TV is repeats.

2 things that appeal to you in a man:
The ability to make me laugh
Good huggage

2 things you want really badly:
A house of my own that has nothing temporary about it.
To be cured.

2 places you want to go on vacation:
Canada
Italy

2 things you want to do before you die:
Bring up a happy and confident child
Have my portrait painted by Jonathan Earl Bowser

2 stores where you shop:
Matalan
T K Maxx

2 people I'm tagging:
Master K
Kitty (assuming she puts down her jewellary making tools for a second and starts blogging again..)

2006-03-08T09:57:00.000Z

Life? Don't talk to me about life...
Just lately on tv there seem to be a lot of reference to things from my childhood, the music, the comedy, toys and games... I've been remembering a lot of things.
One of those things is Tamsyn Luke.

She was my best friend from junior school right through seniors and my first year of college - I know I wasn't her best mate, she had so many to choose from, but she was always special to me.
When I consider a friend amongst my best I do have a tendancy to almost worship them, but Tamsyn was amazing - fearless and clever, pretty and original.
We used to watch the Mary Whitehouse experience together round at her house, it was our favourite show. I remember how one night when she and her brother were walking me home just before our GCSE's, we were discussing our futures and where we thought we were going to go.
I said we'd probably not see each other for several years once we left Daventry, she agreed but we said that it didn't matter because we'd always be friends and that one day we'd see each other in some bar somewhere and we'd just look straight at each other and scream "Teddy!" before collapsing in a heap muttering things like "milky milky" and "that's you that is" at each other while catching up on where we'd been.
If things had been different then that reunion would have happened by now, sadly Tamsyn passed away a decade ago. I still miss her, sometimes quite badly. She was my first real friend and those are the memories that get you through life.

Am I crying because it's expected
Or do I really feel this grief
Why do they think they know how I'm feeling
When they don't know what's underneath

It's strange the way you think you know someone
But then you barely know them at all
We shared so much we knew each other well
But that was all so long ago

We grew up and then we grew apart
I should've kept much more in touch
There's surely something more I could've done
I guess I didn't care enough

I didn't know you were in hospital
I haven't seen you now for years
But I don't want to see you like this now
A wooden cask obscured by tears.

Cherish your friends because all too soon they turn into memories.

2006-03-02T19:17:00.000Z

stefanio whittall --

[noun]:

A dance involving little to no clothing

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Sounds about right to me *grin* sadly so does this:

vicky --

[adjective]:

Extremely flatulent

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2006-03-01T14:41:00.000Z

Death on the roads!

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Yup, yours truly is now learning to drive. With 2 lessons a week for (probably) the next 2 months, funds allowing I should have my licence by the time I'm 30!!
At least that's the plan.

I'm boning up on all the theory questions but sadly I have no one to practice with for the practical *sniff* I know Stef'd do it but it's a physical impossibility for me in his car - I'm too small, I can't reach the peddles comfortably and even if I could - I can't see over the dash! Not exactly the safest of driving posistions eh!?

On the plus side though - my instructor seems to think I have good road sense (to which I credit my former bike riding experience) I pick things up quickly and his car is well easy to drive!
This however didn't stop me from stalling in the middle of a crossroads while attempting to turn right.

Seriously I think it's a law: (Learner driver + first lesson) + busy crossroads = stalled car.

The thing is, the guy didn't pick a nice quiet street or anything so I could familiarise myself with stopping and starting etc etc - Nooooooo... he picked one of the busy main roads, pulled up and told me to swap seats with him. I crapped myself.

Today is the first time in over 11 years that I've been in control of a car on a road. His attitude was "and..? You learn to drive by driving, set the car, check your mirrors, signal... off you go."

So off I went. It was great right up until I stalled the damned thing. The guys in the white van were almost killing themselves with laughter, the lass to my right was giving off almost audible "awwww bless" vibes - as to the guys behind me... thankfully I have no clue what they were doing because I got the car moving again and scarpered... well, slowly turned right and drove off in 1st unable to change gear to speed up because it totally threw me... *sigh*
For a first lesson though, it was pretty cool. I'm actually looking forward to the next one, my instructor is actually pretty chilled, he made me feel relaxed despite myself.

2006-03-01T00:22:00.000Z

Heh heh heh - it's another post from the stats.
Serious, not only has the macroherpetophilia got another hit - but I WAS THE ONLY RESULT!!!!
I've no idea what language that is but the country was Iceland so I'm going to assume icelandic.

Along with the 'caffiene tights' and the 'pud jerkers' search there was also a search for free masturbation vics that I think is german but the isp is in switzerland so *shrugs* who knows...

But the winner... the one that brought the largest smile to my face and the loudest chuckle to the room was:

Anbesol masturbation

Thankyou mr mac user where ever you are (weymouth, massachusettes... or is it? these isp's are so hard to pin down sometimes eh!?)

I love my statcounter.

2006-02-26T17:12:00.000Z

My brother Richard was up yesterday with my cousin Ria, we had a family 'do' to attend. The thing is - none of us knew the family members in question.
Felt kind of weird introducing myself to the person who'd invited us all and having him sit there for a couple of seconds mentally trying to place us. We didn't stay too long though because Richard wanted to go clubbing, which is how come we ended up at some dire club in Bolton - J2 I think it was called.
It's been a long time since I've seen a door team as crap as the one there. Outright thugs - and not even very effective thugs either - it took four of them to get a bloke and his missus downstairs - I wouldn't mind but they weren't even resisting, they were too busy argueing with each other to give the lads any trouble, which didn't stop one of the door mokeys actually kicking at the bloke to get him downstairs. The thing is, as soon as the guy started shouting at the doorthug to stop kicking - another 5 bouncers piled down the stairs knocking punters left right and centre in their efforts to help rid the club of these 2 patrons.

I'm sorry but 9 bouncers for a guy and a girl - no matter how large they may be, is more than a little excessive - especially in view of the fact it then left the upper floor completely unattended by security.

It didn't end there though, I saw a lad lean over and make some kind of observation to another of the suited thugs, at first I thought the guy knew him because he kinda grinned, made eye contact with another of the team and then without warning grabbed the joker in a head lock, took away his drink and threw it onto the dancefloor before hauling the lad off downstairs - I have no idea what the lad had said to him but I doubt it necessitated that kind of action.

All in all, incredibly unimpressed.

I went out on my own friday night though, I'd not heard back from anyone so figured I'd just pop up to the weavers and see who was out for the karaoke, I ended up sticking around because Mick (the kj) basically dragged me over to another group of regulars and had me sat with them - something I'm very glad about because not only was it a cracking night, Kebab (one of the lads) gave me the number for his driving instructor - I have my first lesson on wednesday at 12.45.
Lets hope I turn out to be a natural because I'd like to have a licence by the time I reach 30...

Wish me luck *grin* my countdown clock doesn't show much time remaining eh!?

2006-02-22T20:18:00.000Z

I've got a couple of lists here that it'd be good of you to check out and add to.
This one is about my good attributes, This one is about the bad.

I'd just be interested to see what people who know me well and people who don't know me so well think sums me up - the good and the bad. all you have to do is pick 6 words and submit them, the more people who do it the better an idea you'll get - it's shameless self-centredness on my part, but kind of interesting.

You can blame debambam for this one *grin*

2006-02-22T19:08:00.000Z

I've discovered something else to spend my money on besides books and dvds. This is never a good thing.
Mandy over at the KI forums gave me the link to a site that will legally custom burn karaoke cdg or dvd discs for you...
I've just bought a 16 track effort featuring:

Hedonism (just Because You Feel Good) as by Skunk Anansie
Hard To Handle as by The Black Crowes
Jealous Again as by The Black Crowes
Remedy as by The Black Crowes
She Talks To Angels as by The Black Crowes
Twice As Hard as by The Black Crowes
You Make Me Sick (Radio Version) as by Pink
Janie's Got A Gun as by Aerosmith
What It Takes as by Aerosmith
Love And Affection as by Joan Armatrading
The Weakness In Me as by Joan Armatrading
Shot Of Poison as by Lita Ford
Close My Eyes Forever as by Lita Ford & Ozzy Osbourne
Only Women Bleed as by Alice Cooper (they didn't offer the Lita Ford version sadly)
Break Stuff (Radio Version) as by Limp Bizkit
Faith as by Limp Bizkit

I cannot wait to get my grubby lil mitts on this as no karaoke up in my neck of the woods has these tracks (well, none that I've been to anyhow) I'm thinking I may just slowly build up a collection of backing tracks for my own pleasure - it's also the perfect gift for people like my dad, especially as they do it in dvd format too, I'm just going to be making a list of the songs he likes and that's him sorted this year *grin*
Brings a whole new edge to the 'mix tape' idea eh?!

The kitchen work is supposed to commence tomorrow, Why they have to start on a thursday I'll never know - I just hope this doesn't mean that we'll be without cooking facilities all over the weekend...

2006-02-19T12:50:00.000Z

The one thing this weekend has shown me is how much I miss being able to go out and dance the night away.
I've never liked going out just for the sake of having a drink, that's never appealed. But I do miss being able to have a good dance. Once upon a time I'd be on the dance floor the second I'd dumped my coat and only stopping for crap songs and toilet breaks. Now I can't even stay up for a complete song - even 2 minutes of dancing leaves me ready to crash.
There's talk of going to a club tonight but I'm shattered after 2 nights of karaoke and I feel like a complete killjoy begging off. The only good thing about it is I know Claires not much of a clubber and her sister winds me up something chronic, so perhaps it's more of a relief that I'm a sickie eh?! lol

We're just heading out to look at a dog they're considering bringing home from the shelter. Me, I just want feeding *grin* probably the only thing me and Charlotte have in common.

2006-02-18T23:52:00.000Z

Just got back in, Claire and her mum are happily strumming away on the ol' guitars and I'm nursing my throat *grin* Roll on 2007, the summer months.

As usual Claire blew everyone away, I would kill to have half that girls talant *sigh* just a shame I could never be arsed working for it eh?!
I don't think I disappointed though - I'm still chuckling at the chavs faces - 3 lads at the bar who nearly dropped their drinks when I started the 'Faiiiiith' grunt.
Yup, I ended up covering the Limp Bizkit version of faith, was freaking hilarious no one ever expects someone who looks like me to sound like that lol
I'll be chuckling about that for days - Claire was nearly crying, her mum wasn't terribly impressed though - she was looking forward to us both doing some actual singing.

I've now met a bunch of the KI'ers and I gotta say - they are a fantastic crowd!
I just wish I lived a bit closer so we could organise more meet ups, Much as I love karaoke - I'm not up for a 5 and a half hour coach journey every time there's a gathering.
Have been invited to a birthday bash in June though - seems one of the lads is also turning 30 in May, though the other end of the month to me, could be good for a laugh!

Ugh, bed - I'm shattered.
...Actually, that reminds me, quote of the night goes to Jackie though "You just seem to have so much energy - you always look as though you're raring to go"
I know, Irene nearly wet herself laughing at that (probably because I've been asleep most of the day to ensure I had enough energy to go out - kinda overdid it last night dancing to the crazy frog...)

2006-02-18T19:10:00.000Z

Last night was a corker - don't believe me? Just check the pics along the side of my blog - I finally succumbed to Flikr.

Looking forward to tonight, trying to convince Claires mum that getting up and having a sing will be fun - she's not 'avin a bar of it!
*pout*
Ah well, Best get ready, we'll be leaving for the delightful area of Croyden soon.
Wish us luck eh?!

2006-02-17T18:11:00.000Z

I sit by the side and watch. Disgust rises within me but I don't say a word.
In silence I note the men, boys and even the occasional woman who stop by, just to use you before walking away without a backward glance. I fight the need inside me as I see them shower you with their filth and leave.
One more glance and I can fight this desperate need no longer.

...Damn my weak bladder!

Don't you just hate coach toilets? All I can say is 'please god, let that have been water from the sink that left the toilet role so damp..."

I made it down to Banstead in one piece, just taking the opportunity to blog while Claire gets herself ready for an evening of karaoke (just as a warm up for tomorrow you understand - I'm not addicted, really... I'm not) The bus journey down wasn't too bad, nasty toilet incident aside *grin* I met a some nice lads which made it go quicker, 2 music tech students and a one armed kickboxer on his way down to compete in some tournament and see his missus (long distance relationships eh? I couldn't do it!) Spent today doing nothing but watch films and get a haircut (£17.50 for a 10 minute trim... I should've waited til I came home) and mooch around a couple of charity shops while I waited for Claire to return from taking her theory test (passed, green all the way)

I also bought something unusual - it was calling out to me and I couldn't walk away, that doesn't happen to me very often and I usually regret it if I don't give in to the impulse, it kind of fired my imagination though.
It's a brass pestle and morter set. £3.25 makes it a bargain to my mind. There are some interesting designs on it that I want to check up on so when I get home I'll post a couple of pics.
Oooops, gotta go - lift is here.
Party on people, I am *grin*

2006-02-14T00:00:00.000Z

Went to the Trafford centre to see that new Heath Ledger film today - you know the one...
Cassanova.

Even if I hadn't thought it a very well made, scripted and acted film (Though this is the second film I've seen Jeremy Irons in and thought: ham... cheese... ham...) the laugh out loud segments were made all the sweeter because this was a FREE preview.
Yup I paid NADA for the pleasure of giggling away a good 2 hours of my day. Gotta love these online competitions eh?!

Ive just been in a really good mood all day, which is nice *grin*. I bumped into a friend I haven't seen for a while on the way home and have semi-arranged a night out when I get back from London, Hmmm... Actually, it's possible that I'm in such a good mood because not only do I get to see my best mate in 2 days time, I also get to go karaoke with a few people I've 'spoken' with on the KI forums and you know why this makes me happy?

The tunes this woman has in her book! Never have I seen a karaoke featuring Megadeath, Tool, White Zombie and Nine Inch Nails!!!
But I'm thinking rather than symphony of destruction and closer, I'll try the Limp Bizkit version of 'Faith' (just because it appeals to my humour) Massive attacks 'Teardrop' because it's a gorgeous tune and I'd love a chance to do it - and whoomp there it is by Tag Team - purely because it reminds me of a time in Daventry when I loved going out to Madisons and chatting to Darren the DJ (who also happened to be our DM, he'd written and illustrated a new role play system, I was one of the playtesters - it was BRILLIANT!)

Anyhow, lets just say... this is going to be a fun weekend!

2006-02-11T14:35:00.000Z

Mustafa shag

Apparantly the latest Anne Summers toy is offensive - I mean REALLY offensive.
To Muslims.

Is there anything left that they don't find offensive?
I mean, come on! The doll is not an effigy of any kind meant to represent anything from their faith - it just happens to have the name Mustafa - just like their beloved prophet.
This I doubt was a deliberate move on the part of the people in marketing - it's an obvious play on the English words 'must have a shag' ok, not the most tasteful of phrases, but it's a sex toy - what more could you expect?

Perhaps the muslim community would be so kind as to issue a list of words and phrases in English that we can steer clear from - just so we can avoid upsetting their oh-so-delicate sensibilities in future.

It's just ridiculous, I can almost understand them being upset at some tasteless cartoons deliberately satirising their religion, (though not to the point of mass violent flag/ building burning protest) but this is just being pathetic.
...and it's the Manchester Mosque as well, seems I'm finally commenting on local news - how long before it joins up with the rest of the madness as 'another proof of western intolerance of eastern rights and religion'?

2006-02-11T12:03:00.000Z

I woke up crying this morning.

I hate having bad dreams but this one was even worse than the demon attack sequences I usually wake up from.
The part I can remember from, was where dad came to pick us up for a visit, but when we got to his he got a phonecall and told us we had to get changed because we were going to a funeral, his mum had just died.
I sat through the funeral, not really taking much in because I was bored, it was only later when I heard Eileen on the phone that it clicked who's funeral I'd just attended, I'd been at my grans funeral and hadn't even realised - despite being told who it was!

I was inconsolable.
My gran is the only member of my family who has made me feel like she gives a rats arse about me. I woke up and that feeling was, and is, still with me.
She's been pretty ill the last couple of weeks but I spoke to her this morning and she's feeling better so I'm guessing the dream was just sparked by worry.
I'm going to be a wreck when she does finally give up the ghost though. As it is I could be completely unconcerned if I never see another member of my family ever again, but my gran means the world to me.

My dad has never been very family orientated, he still isn't - he works away 5 days out of 7 but still spends most of Sunday with his mates instead of his family. Since I only really started having contact with him around the age of 19 I'm not really a part of his family. I love him to bits, he's a great laugh to go out with, but I've never really felt like a daughter to him, more an acquaintance.
I went to a barbeque at dads a while back and I'm used to the fact that there is no photographic evidence of my existance in the house but it kinda hurt when I was asked a few times how I knew them. My uncle nearly wet himself laughing but you can imagine the embarrassed silence greeting the words "I'm Phils daughter" but that's how it is. My aunty Jane is great - I'm always getting messages off gran from her and every couple of months there's a bag of clothes or something for me to rummage through *grin* she's the reason I own anything 'designer' It's just a shame she's always on the move and I rarely get to see her.

My mums side of the family is even worse - most of my cousins are ace I've recently found, but the parents are a mess. It's like 30 episodes of Jerry Springer rolled in one. The only characteristic they share is an inability to think of anyone but themselves. 'Nuff said really.

I know everyone has their family problems, but I've never really felt as though I had a family of my own - until I moved up here and Gran made it clear to me that now I'm close enough for her to get at, I have no choice but to let her know I'm ok - weekly!

I've spoken to my gran at least once a week for the last 10 years, she genuinly just wants to know that I'm well and happy, she doesn't want anything in return because that knowledge is all she needs - to not have that contact is going to be a tough thing to take because I don't have a network of family to fall back on, pity Stef eh?! That poor lad will get the brunt of it!

Still, it was just a dream, I daresay by the time I've browsed around a few blogs and played a few games on the forum I'll have forgotten all about it.

Anyway... Last night was ace!

Dawn convinced me to come try out another pub with her - the atmosphere wasn't as good as we've come to expect from the weavers - that and Paul was getting fidgety so after a couple of songs we legged it up to the Weavers and bumped into Cheryl and Dave, the lads took the opportunity to head to the pub next door leaving us females to caterwaul to our hearts content.

We're definitely regulars now *grin* Mick, the KJ, seemed well chuffed when we showed up, wanted to know why we were so late and came over to chat for a bit when he had chance - he started doing 'sweet child of mine' but when it proved too high for him called me over to help out - I was kinda chuffed about that because it meant I could redeem myself after cocking up the beginning of 'How you remind me' (that's a tough song to sing, you have to find the key and the melody a full verse and chorus before the backing fully kicks in to help you out!)

I was really impressed with some lass who came in and did 'Loving you' that's a fecker of a tune! but the highlight was definitely Me, Cheryl and Dawn murdering "dontcha" Because I'm the only one who can read quickly I got stuck with the rap part - which would be ok if I'd ever heard the song all the way through before but I didn't even know there was a rap in it!
Bloody good laugh. One of the scally types actually bimbled over afterwards asking which of us had been MC'ing - then shook my hand and said "good job".

I love my fridays.

2006-02-10T17:02:00.000Z

I love the Bill Watterson creation of Calvin and Hobbes - what I don't like is the frighteningly plausible way this guy has turned Hobbes into Tyler Durden...

2006-02-10T10:13:00.001Z

How to make a rosevibe

Ingredients:

3 parts friendliness

5 parts humour

3 parts joy

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add wisdom to taste! Do not overindulge!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Stolen from carlyB at the karaoke forum

2006-02-09T21:44:00.000Z

Me: So what do you think?

Him: I.. *stops and shifts weight slightly*

Me: did you just stop talking then to fart?!

Him *giggles* Might have.

Me: You mean to say that you can't talk and fart at the same time? Oh my god! I so have to blog about that...

(told you I would *grin*)

2006-02-08T13:28:00.000Z

My reading habit is slowing somewhat - I've only read 16 books this year - and at least half of those were teen books.
My dvd viewing habits though... *grin* I love amazon, truly I do. now if only I could find some none strenuous work I could do from home to earn the money I need to feed my amazon habit...
*sigh*

I've given up the fleeting thought of starting up my own karaoke because quite frankly - it's obviously more trouble than it's worth (that and I'd end up relinquishing my dvd habit in order to buy song discs, some of those catalogues had me salivating lol) I've just found out that you need a licence (£200pa) to dj...
This country is licence mad! You need a licence to work (one of the reasons I gave up door work was that part time did not pay enough to make it worth my while once the new yearly national licence came in) It's pretty sick though - a dj now has to pay for a licence to play music, but so does the venue - why not have it so one or the other pays? I also hadn't realised that it's actually illegal to use mp3's and copied discs instead of the originals you bought. Surely if you've paid for something you should be allowed to use it in whatever format you desire?

Ach! I can't be arsed thinking about it or looking into it further right now because quite frankly - I'm having a blonde day.
Another one.

That and all I keep hearing about on the radio is the bloody islam cartoon thing and I think we're all sick of that one!

Instead, I'm about to head over to Kay's and offer sympathy for the poor lass dying on us (not literally I hasten to add, but she aint a happy bunny right now) I'm also apparantly heading to the flicks this evening with the boy - I hope he has something decent in mind to watch...

2006-02-06T20:53:00.000Z

Sparx has a tidy idea:

I'm announcing a new competition. I want to find something that makes people laugh yet will not upset or cause offence to anyone, anywhere, no matter their race, gender or faith. Not even, and I going to be totally strict on this point, not even if they still think Burberry is cool.

If any of you can actually come up with this gem of humour, let me know - or alternatively go tell the man himself!

I've found a forum that tickles my fancy - it's karaoke based and seems to be full of people I'd really like to meet. So much so that when I head down to see Claire in a couple of weeks we're going to a karaoke run by one of the lasses in the forum - I'm looking forward to that, it sounds like it'll be mental *grin*

It's just another carrot on the end of the stick for me to want to move down south - despite hating London... *sigh* the grass is always greener isn't it?

2006-02-05T19:37:00.000Z

It's just a fecking cartoon.

Children of islam - grow up!
Please.

Why is it that terrorists or pressure groups always come across as spoilt children throwing a temper tantrum?

It pisses me off no end the way every other country has bent over backwards to allow these people entry, financial aid and despite their repeated complaints to the contrary, respect for their beliefs.
The reason it pisses me off? Because for them it's never enough.

If their Pakistan and Islam is so great - why do so many of them want to move to another country?
Lets face it - here in the U.K. we've had enough problems with religion just because Henry VIII decided to create the protestant church so he could justify a divorce - the Catholics didn't like it and so all the crap with Ireland started (ok, so I'm kind of shoving my history together there but I think you all get my drift)

When these people moved here, we did not tell them they had to learn our language (and we still don't, they get fecking translators for everything) we didn't say they weren't allowed to bring their religion and all it's trappings with them - despite us having a national religion already established (cheers Henry) No, instead they get land on which to build mosques, temples, gurdwara's (I know, but I'm not just whinging about the muslims here, they're just the most irritating) and even in some cases government grants to help fund the building of these places.
Our government goes out of it's way to make these people feel welcome.

Sadly, it's not enough.
Most of these people self-segregate. Instead of accepting the society of the country they've moved to, they stick to their own areas and their own people as much as possible and try to recreate what they had before they came here.
Yes, there are a few who will quite happily embrace the culture in which they've been born - but they do it with their parents knowing as little as possible about it and trying to keep up the facade of being a devout muslim to the rest of their community.
Why live 2 lives? why should you have to live 2 lives? The people they are lying to are the people who brought them here - the people who decided that this country was the best place to raise their children.
If this was their belief then why do they insist upon forcing their previous way of life upon the country they left it for?

Ugh... I'm sorry - I know I'm just ranting but it gets me so mad!

My poor grandad has just been made redundant from the place he has worked for the last 30yrs, he's never taken a sick day and yet the govt. have cut his jsa because of my grans meagre pension - apparantly a couple only need a pittance to live on. Yet a single immigrant who has never worked a day in this country gets immediate benefit, housing, education...
It just makes me want to scream at our government "what the fuck are you playing at?"

A person who pays his N.I and taxes his whole life should not get less treatment than someone who has just entered the country with his hand out.
It's wrong! And they wonder why there is so much resentment rampant in this country!

At the end of the day it all comes down to sex and money - everything does, religion is just another tool towards getting them and the sooner people admit it and stop making a bunch of noise about something completely irrelevant to real life the better.

As Köppel said .

'It is at the core of our culture that the most sacred things can be subjected to criticism, laughter and satire'

Either accept, or at the very least tolerate, our culture or piss off back to Pakistan and stay there.

**update**
Wish I'd read this first. *sigh* Why do the people I read express my thoughts more cohesively than I can? Especially when I come across well researched eloquence like this

2006-02-04T18:50:00.000Z

I'm beginning to think someone somewhere is trying to get me to go down the pregnancy road.
Seriously - the last 2 weeks have given me a vast selection of email junk, varying from the usual viagra and penis extension rubbish to the worryingly more frequent 'find a fuckbuddy', 'sex addicts in your area' and an assortment of new mother books, how to handle a first pregnancy and various links to nutritional guides for the pregnant woman.

So come clean, which of you has signed me up for a spot of puppy pushing eh?

I've been toying with the idea of getting some equipment and starting up my own karaoke - or at the very least a load of backing tracks and going out gigging again. I used to do the pub/ club circuit a while back and quite frankly I hated it.
I was the singing part of a duo called 'Electric blue' (and boy did I feel like a tit when the DJ at a holiday camp in wales pointed out the previously unknown fact of a certain movie of the same name to me and the rest of the audience midway through the gig) I loved singing, but I hated most of what I sang and the places we did *shudders* rough does not even begin to describe some of 'em.
It didn't help that the lad I was working with thought he knew what people wanted to hear and I had to really argue the toss to get anything decent into the set - he was a really good keyboard player but he was also only 18 and every decision was also discussed with his parents...
It got very trying.
I hated it so much that I didn't even sing at a karaoke for over a year following that experience - I just completely lost all joy in music. I guess part of my hesitation stems from not wanting that to happen again now I have the buzz back.

But I've been offered a paid weekly gig if I can get something together.
Decisions decisions...

Personally I'd love to get a band together again because that's more fun, but it's also more equipment, more hassle and less money after the split. If I can get a guitarist or a keyboard player then that's not as bad moneywise - but it can limit what material we can do. If I get a load of gear and use all my backing tracks then I don't have to rely on anyone else - but then it's just me doing karaoke all night and one gig a week isn't enough to justify the outlay of all the equipment I'd need...

Guess I'll just have to turn it down and remain incredibly flattered.
Shame though - the money would be most welcome.

2006-02-03T09:34:00.000Z

About a week or so ago I asked people to list some of their favourite posts, so far only Mrs A has done this - bless her lil heart!

I figure I should come through and do the same myself.
It was actually kinda depressing reading through 2 years worth of posts, up until may 2004 I had a real life - I never stopped. But then I never seemed to sleep either so it's hardly a surprise when you look at my previous lifestyle and the crappy stress filled year I had in 2004 that I developed chronic fatigue syndrome eh!?
I think what depressed me most was this post where I ended up listing all the things I would do if I didn't have to work, most of those things still raise my interest but all I've actually done from it is no. 13 - Even when not working I really am quite pants *grin*

Anyhow, as far as the linkage thing goes, I guess you could say I'd already done it once when I wrote about my life as a sit com.
Many of the posts I would consider linking are in there already, but there are a couple of posts I would like to point to because they represent views I hold strongly to and those views have not changed one iota since the day I posted.
My take on fidelity within a relationship, religion and kids in the cinema are all pretty straight forward so I can flatter myself that very few of you would dissent

As far as actual writing goes - this post would win flat out, in case you'd never guess, the inspiration was from twin peaks. For humour/ great ideas... I may have to see if this could ever happen - or if it already has, I'm sure one of you lovely people can tell me about it.

There now, that's got you lot sorted for the next few hours - am I good to you or what? *grin*

Ok no, I'm a narcissistic pain in the unmentionables, but who cares? you love me right..?
*sigh* I just wish I didn't have to go to the dentists again - even the thought of my karaoke chair (cheers Eric) does little to stem the ~~outright fear terror worry anxiety~~ trepidation I feel.
Roll on 1pm when it'll all (hopefully) be over.

2006-02-02T21:18:00.000Z

Bad day today *sniff*

Waved off the best mate this afternoon, our time together was short yet sweet, after the gossip/ catch up on tuesday, we took her to puccinis and had to sit back in amazement because wednesday seemed to be the birthday of everyone in this area. I kid you not - the 'happy birthday' recording was going off every 5 minutes or so - that poor waitress must've had burns all over her fingers from lighting those candles.

This evening - I managed to pull out a tooth whilst eating toffee.
This does not make me a happy bunny.

As previously mentioned many times - I'm not a fan of the dentist. Ok, so my last appointment was miraculously pain free and the guy was lovely... This does not mean I wanted to be going again anytime soon *sniff* I'm pissed off and - well, just really pissed off!

On the plus side, I'm going down to Claires in a couple of weeks so we can spend a bit more time together.
I'm really starting to warm to the idea of living down south, it may be more expensive than up here - but I'd have easier access to my 2 best mates, Stef could see the folks a lot more regularly and we could actually make use of our Top golf membership *grin* yeah - anyone willing to send me around £250,000 for my birthday would truly make my day lol Not to mention Claires - she's done nothing but bitch at me to move closer to her for years.

But how could I live without my karaoke? *grin* It's just unthinkable.

2006-01-26T22:42:00.000Z

I have here an audio post, the idea came to me about 30 minutes or so after posting yesterdays challenge (which you are more than welcome to take up btw *grin* assuming you haven't already of course...)
Basically - you can all head over and thank daddy Mutta for this, quite frankly, pathetic attempt at using another language. It's short at least - I don't claim to be as talkative as the mango radio bunch...

>>>>>>>>>>>> CLICK HERE<<<<<<<<<<<<

(and find out why I've listed that little lot underneath)

chakula - "chah-koo-lah" - food
kiti - "kee-tee" - chair
ruka - "roo-kah" - jump

1 - one - moja (mo-jah)
2 - two - mbili (mm-bee-lee)
3 - three - tatu (tah-too)
4 - four - nne (nn-nay)
5 - five - tano (tah-no)
6 - six - sita (see-tah)
7 - seven - saba (sah-bah)
8 - eight - nane (nah-nay)
9 - nine - tisa (tee-sah)
10 - ten - kumi (koo-me)

"Kwaheri, tuta onana mwaka mpya"!

2006-01-25T21:24:00.000Z

This was going to be an audio post but then I figured I'd take pity on your poor ears and not bother - mainly because I started yawning after every other word and sitting silently for a few minutes attempting to think of something to say.
Pants eh?!

Funny though - as soon as I put the mic away I start typing bollocks. Figures.

I'm a little confused by a trend in my stats.

I wrote this post way back in July last year - yet I can easily promise that over 25% of my weekly hits are from searches on its content.
This disturbs me.

I know there are a lot of people out there with differing sexual tastes, but come oooon...
Still, I suppose if you want a wild, out of the ordinary hen night it might be for you - you'd be advised to never tell the blokes about it though - and pray they never see the video.

Well, I've tidied up a bit, got some bread baking (and I cannot wait for that to be done, I'm bloomin' peckish!) started updating my book and dvd lists (yes, I'm listing everything I own because I'm sad like that)
I started thinking about food (no surprise since I'm hungry) it's the one subject besides music, ok and films, books, games, TV...

OK - it's A subject that anyone can talk about for hours on end.

As far as food goes I'll try anything once - assuming I can stand the smell of it, if something smells bad it aint going in my mouth (so that already rules out most of the cheeses my man loves) But the one thing that practically always makes me feel like heaving is minced meat.

I don't know what it is but stick a plate of spaghetti bolognese in front of me and I'll be less than impressed - when I was a kid it'd literally send me running to the toilet to hurl, these days I can politely grin and eat a few mouthfulls but I don't actually like it. Same with lasagne, chilli - even cottage pie (though the mash makes that more edible than the others)
I'm just not a fan of minced meat. Perhaps it's the texture, or maybe it's just the memories of spag bol= vomit. Who knows?
Just a little something to bear in mind should I ever be invited to feast at yours...

Now, if you love me you'll do a little something for me.

I like reading blogs - hell, we all do otherwise what the feck ye doing here?
With that in mind I'd like you to go through your posts and pick three that you are either most proud of, ashamed of or would like to go back to and add to, link them together in a post stating what it is about the ones you've picked that made you pick them.

Why?

Because:

I'm lazy and haven't read everyone's archives yet.
I think it'd be interesting to see your own 'now' comments on posts you wrote a while back - that and the comments other people leave you about your choices, and to see just what you think of as interesting or important enough to rise above everything else you've written...
I just like things to be done in three's but feel free to pick more or less if you do it.

I will do it myself if someone out there does it first *grin* I'm going along the lines of show me yours and I'll show you mine...

**sits and waits for the utter disappointment of not one response**

2006-01-24T23:34:00.000Z

Stef has been kaning the online games thing for a while - usually concentrating on the likes of sudoku and text twist - but he's now got me playing along.
My head hurts *whimper*

He started off by going through things this guy had listed, sadly he went far enough down through the postings that he found some nasty hard yet deceptively simple mind games
Not the sobbing in a corner type games, more the "why am I so stupid" type games... and they're horribly addictive too if there's a couple of you sat in the same room on seperate computers playing the same thing...
Now aren't we just the funnest couple around?
LOL

As if coffeebreakarcade wasn't enough to take up all available 'spare' time, and the online scrabble or chess clubs...

I need to become an I.T. consultanat so I can get paid to play games and read blogs all day *sniff*

(Note, it's the being paid part I want...)

I've spent a lot of time this evening checking out the available freeware and shareware on hitsquad.com there's been a lot of changes on that site since I last looked, it's a lot neater and far easier to find things now - I've got several plug-ins and programs to mess about with, roll on the music eh?!
*grin*

2006-01-24T01:49:00.000Z

*chuckle* internet retail therapy is bad.

Truly, it is - amazon is... Well, lets just say they must love me over in the banking department *sigh* but I can console myself in the fact that my shopping basket this time started out at £114.97 and I whittled away at my possible purchases until it came to under £40.
Now that's will power *grin*
Sadly it means my wishlist is growing. Damn this consumerism... But can you blame me when 'classics' like this and this are screaming out to me at such low low prices lol

What can I say? I used to adore Christian Slater, pump up the volume was a phenomenal film in my opinion - and it only made me love him that little bit more than my eagerly awaited gleaming the cube did...
...and Bette Midler? I'm having a Bette-fest when these babies show up!
God, I'm such a sad puppy.

...Easily pleased though *grin*

2006-01-22T23:41:00.000Z

ok, I know - tonight I'm a quiz junkie - but blame Brandie for this one:

Underappreciated

The Battleaxe
Deliberate Brutal Love Master (DBLMf)

Sharp. Hardened. Dominating. The Battleaxe sweeps all before her, smiting and what not.

You've had a number of serious relationships, so you obviously have many attractive qualities. You're well experienced in dealing with other people's weirdnesses, and it's likely you're good in bed by now, too. Also, like the drunken housewife chucking Heinekens at her no-good husband, you've got a lot of energy.

People can tell you're sophisticated, and so you find yourself the object of infatuations quite often. But it's how you handle yourself in your relationships that gets you the 'brutal' tag. Controlling? Imperious? Overbearing? Yes, please.

Your exact opposite:
The Nurse

Random Gentle Sex Dreamer

Remarkably, you don't mind the same from your men. You've experience enough to take whatever you dish out. Overall, you're a very good person and a capable lover, and when the time comes you'll make a fine divorcee.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Poolboy

CONSIDER: The False Messiah, someone just like you.

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: kroake

2006-01-22T22:17:00.000Z

LMAO - I was checking around (as you do) and found this quiz for girlies on Laura's site:

Your Japanese name should be
'Aki'

which means "autumn".

You can be compared with autumn, the way the autumn weather changes, is how your feelings change. You have these mood swings you can't control; one moment you're happy, the next you're feeling almost depressed. You're probably sensitive and creative.

58154 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 300919 times.
19% of people had this result.

Which Japanese name fits you best? [females, 9 results + absolutely stunning ANIME pictures!]
brought to you by Quizilla

That's actually quite cool since I'd say autumn is probably my favourite time of year. Well, cool if you disregard the whole 'mood swing' thing lol

We're visiting the boys folks again (it being his birthday and all) I think the bright side to me spending all day yesterday in bed and the bathroom puking up my guts, is that his mum got some QT with the birthday boy.
Ugh...

Thankfully I'm ok today - must've been some random 24hr bug or something. I'll be glad when I get home though because I've decided that I need to start working on music again, I have to dig out all my old software (cubase, soundforge etc etc) install it and dust off my keyboard and re-learn the bloomin' stuff because if I sit around the way I have been my mind is going to freeze up.
I don't feel as though I have the mental ability at the moment to teach myself something from scratch, my abortive attempts at getting to grips with dreamweaver and co highlighted that lil difficulty. But I figure since this is something I already knew, if I start doing it it'll come back to me (especially when I dig out all my old notes from uni - assuming I didn't bin 'em during the move)
There are 2 songs buzzing around in my head that need work and 1 song that I need to write a backing track for, the main reason I haven't done it already is that I don't actually play an instrument.
That's the beauty of cubase, ok it's a lot quicker if you can play the keyboard, but it's not a necessary skill thanks to the editors within the program.
It's a lovely bit of kit really...
...Speaking of kits - anyone got a Roland V-drum they no longer have a use for..?

2006-01-20T02:20:00.000Z

I've been a bit weirded out tonight while checking my stats - can the dude (or dudette) searching for Chantelle Weir please email me? You've more than pricked my curiosity with that particular search.

Anyhow, on with more normal things...
I've been meme'd.
It makes me feel all popular and stuff again *grin* I guess it shows that Kitty is thinking of me...
That said, this is a toughie! As far as the seasons go it's much easier to think of things I dislike, does that really make me a miserable sod?

Four Things You Love About Spring
1. The way the air smells as everything starts sprouting
2. longer daylight hours - even though I rarely venture out in them.
3. people smile more than they did in winter
4. cheap flights

Four Things You Love About Summer
1. remembering days at the outdoor pool in Daventry (only good thing about that rathole)
2. warmth (not too much though, I hate frazzling)
3. the smell of clean washing that's been hung out all day
4. The students piss off home and you can walk through manchester in peace

Four Things You Love About Autumn
1. Seeing all the leaves change colour
2. bonfire night (well, I used to till I moved to the city)
3. even when it rains, everywhere looks pretty and smells fresh
4. Ican start wearing my purple furry coat again

Four Things You Love about Winter
1. Staying inside in the warmth
2. all the musicals and old films start playing on TCM
3. I get new books (one way or another)
4. the students leave again *grin*

Four U.S. Cities that You’d Visit in a Heartbeat
1. Atlanta
2. Where ever hot karl lives - just so I can force him to find me a karaoke *grin*
3. um... I'm not that fussed about cities
4. ...and my geographical knowledge is pants.

Four Funniest Movies (in no partic. order)
1. Shrek
2. home fries
3. overboard
4. dirty rotten scoundrels

Four Tear-Jerkers (in no partic. order)
1. The green mile
2. sommersby
3. Beaches
4. Dead poets society (1st time I watched this I was almost hysterical, took forever to stop crying)

Four Most Romantic Songs
1. I miss you - Incubus
2. Little things mean a lot - Kitty Kallon
3. Still the one - shania twain ( or Aerosmiths 'Dont want to miss a thing', equally soppy)
4. Your song - Elton John ( I know, but it says it all doesn't it)

Four Songs That Make You Happy
1. Addicted to bass - puretone
2. Building a mystery - Sarah mclachlan
3. Good feeling – Reef
4. Louie Louie - The kingsmen (or motorhead, either version is cool)

Four Favorite Singers/Groups (in no order)
1. Incubus
2. Aerosmith
3. Clannad
4. Alanis Morrisette (I could keep listing but at this precise moment these'll have to do)

Four All-Time Favorite TV Shows
1. Charmed
2. CSI
3. Stargate SG-1
4. porridge

Four Things You Love About Where You Live
1. It's karaoke central
2. there are supposed to be four things..?
3. No, really... things..? love? HERE?!?
4. hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *gasp* Hahahahahahahahhahahah *wheeze*

Four Things You Don't Like About Where You Live
1. The stabbings
2. the joy riders setting light to cars outside my gaff
3. the gangs of kids
4. having a serial rapist on the loose

Four Favorite Meals
1. Giant yorkshire pud filled with mash, veg and gravy
2. potato dauphinois
3. Stef's bean salad
4. anti pasto (the way stefs mum does it - the hams over the avocado with the cheese and grapes and... *mouths watering...*

Great, now I'm going to bed salivating *sniff* I'll have to wring out the pillow tomorrow - that's assuming I don't just sleep eat in the wee wee hours...

I'll not pass this on specifically but I'd be reet chuffed if at least one of you lovely people does this and lets me know so I can come have a looksee, I'm not even asking for a link - I'd just like to see your answers (I'm a nosey sod like that) I'd be interested to see what people put down for the romantic songs one anyhow, I still have to finish up a list on my other blog and that info would be helpful...

2006-01-19T15:09:00.000Z

Yey, ditching the B.E. was a good move because my stats no longer look like a ctl C and V list and I've been able to blog hop a few new readers (I love that people like my waffle but I don't think I'll ever understand why they do - it's mostly a ton of shite hiding the odd gleaming penny in my opinion)
Some of my American blog buddies may be interested in this story - especially you student types *cough* Brandie *cough* and I guess I can expect some decent outrage from the likes of mango and hot karl, I mean... I'm not American and I'm disgusted.
Gotta love those bureaucrats eh?!

Went to see Narnia last night and wished I was 10 again so I could appreciate it properly. The whole thing just looked like the BBC tv series that was out a few years ago, I know everyone has raved about it but... It didn't hit the spot for me.
I am looking forward to X-men III and underworld evolution - hopefully they won't disappoint, though Seans revelation of a new director for the X-men film worries me, especially when he told me it is the same guy who directed the rush hour fims...
Last night was cool, Sean had us in stitches with his tales of equadorian jungle life and his 'manly' treks, the pictures prompting these stories are fantastic, but I know I'm far too squeamish and anti-insect to cope with the whole experience.
I'm so proud of him *grin* mah lil mannums is growin' up!

I also officially HATE Stef for perpetuating the 'blonde joke' (which I've now fallen for several times and only just had explained to me by said hateful bastard)
I wouldn't mind but I'm such a dark brunette that it's been mistaken for black several times. I was born to be blonde, truly - the evidence keeps stacking up *sniff*

I also have another site that I think you should check out, all the british visitors here will have at least heard of the JCB song, it's cute, it's simple - it's fantastic.
Go here to see the video (best if you have broadband as loading takes a few seconds) but check out the rest of the site, it's got just as much charm as the song itself.

2006-01-18T12:17:00.000Z

I'm starting to remember why I stopped using blogexplosion.
My stats are hardly worth looking at due to the hundreds of people skipping through in a mad click frenzy. I only went on there because I got an email about a message - then I thought I'd go check out the people I had blogmarked only to find most of 'em have either given up blogging completely or moved.
Sadly this means that all my accrued credits seems to have been activated and I'm being paraded in front of people who are too busy looking at the countdown timer to give a stuff about anything else.

I blame Stef.
He's been attempting to beat his sudoku score on their site and that prompted me to stick around and do more than read my message and leave, the site has changed a lot since I last logged in.

I remember when I first went on there, all the blogs I read at the time were into the popularity thing and pushing traffic to their sites *cough* fat dude*cough*, so, being the sheep that I am, I had a go at doing the same.
Except I ended up having to start a blogroll on my other blog (I tend to stick blogs I read most on here and things that I think I might be interested in reading on my blogroll to check out when I can be bothered) too many blogs, too little time.
I really think that if you just enjoy reading blogs, then find new ones through people who comment on the ones you regularly read, at least then you are guaranteed to find people more likely to be on your wavelength than by randomly surfing on a 'traffic' site.

If you like a persons comment, go to their blog and tell 'em, even if you disagree but you can see where their coming from - let 'em know, start a dialogue, meet people.
Don't just click and leave in some pointless traffic building exercise, I'd rather 2 people stopped by and stuck around because they like what they see rather than 100 people glance through and feck orf to do the same to 50 other sites.
In fact - I'm now in enough of a dudgeon to remove my blog from their site. It's the little things that please or annoy me...

2006-01-18T01:09:00.000Z

The police have gone, the tape is down - but not a snifter of a tale in any of the local papers.
Seems this is so much the norm it isn't news round here, after all 2 people got stabbed in Eccles during a riot saturday night and another family endured an arson attack... Isn't life in the city of Salford great.

I'm off to town tomorrow to see my former filthy housemate and get the scoop on life on an equadorian nature preserve - that and see Narnia at the flicks.

Speaking of Narnia - that bloomin' Tilda swinton has buggard my search results when trying to see if anything's been reported about our little drama...
Biatch.

Stef's currently watching a programme about the papparazzi - I'm quite disturbed to find that I'm sympathising with these leeches.
Just because someone is a celeberity doesn't mean they have to be available for cameramen when trying to relax at home. Your home is supposed to be the place you go to escape from everything else - it's your haven.
Not if the papparazzi want you it isn't.
...and yet, I keep catching myself rooting for them to get the picture they need to pay the rent.